


Maybe I was Meant to be Left Behind

by DaydreamDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Cas just had his birthday, Dean failed second grade or something, Dom!Cas, Fae!Cas, Half Incubus!Cas, High School AU, Human Dean, Just accept it, Light BDSM, M/M, Mary winchester is alive, Rimming, Sadly (or not) John isn't, Smut, Sub!Dean, Top!Cas, Underage Drinking, bottom!Dean, everyone is 18, handjobs, mary winchester is a badass, sex to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamDestiel/pseuds/DaydreamDestiel
Summary: Castiel Novak was dumped on his brother Gabriel's doorstep with nothing but a duffel bag of his stuff and the clothes on his back two weeks into his senior year of high school. Half-Incubus, Castiel hated what he was. Hated the fact that he had to feed, and hated that his mother blamed him for it.  There was nothing Castiel wanted more than to be normal, to go back to his old life. At least not until he met Dean Winchester. He was hot, Castiel had to give him that. But what Dean was looking for, and what Castiel was looking for were probably two different things. Castiel hadn't ever even slept with the same person twice, and Dean? He was as boy next door as it got. Everything about Dean messed with Castiel's head in all the right ways, but nothing good ever really lasted for Castiel. He couldn't see how Dean could possibly be any different.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new story guys! I promise this doesn't mean my other ones are abandoned. :) 
> 
> I just finished editing the final draft for my DCBB which will be out in Nov, and I'm co-writing a really amazing, very long fic with another talented authour.

 

The car ride to Gabe’s was silent. Three and a half hours of strained silence to be exact. Castiel stared out the window, his forehead rested against the glass and he ignored the woman driving the car.

She was supposed to be his mother, the one person who was supposed to love him no matter what. At least that’s what every goddamn after school special he’d ever seen had said. Too bad Naomi hadn’t gotten the memo.

The worst part was she hadn’t always been a cold-hearted bitch. Once she’d been the kind of mom who'd spent endless hours reading with him, played in the backyard with him, hell, she’d baked cookies and sang him to sleep.

The kind of mom whose love you never doubted. Until he’d stopped being the perfect son through no fault of his own. It wasn't like he could control his biology, could alter the way his grace manifested or the way he needed to feed.

Being a light Fae, seelie, meant he should have been able to recharge himself through simple communion with nature. Unfortunately for Castiel, his feeding habits ran darker. More like his older brother, whom his mother had discouraged contact with after he’d been kicked out.

She’d hoped he was different, Castiel knew. That he’d never do what Gabriel had done, that _he_ wouldn’t let her down that way. How was it his fault that his father was Unseelie?

It’d come as a shock to him, that he was half-unseelie, even though it really shouldn’t have because what other explanation could there be? Naomi hadn’t told him much more beyond that about that man who shared half his DNA. Bitterness swelled in him like a violent storm he could barely control.

Castiel had wanted to ask a million questions, to know everything, but Naomi had gotten that tight lipped, angry expression she got whenever she shut him down, and he’d known it was pointless to ask them. She’d never answer.

He glared out the window even though he couldn’t see anything in the dark. It was better than acknowledging the woman sitting beside him.

The signs for the vineyard flew by and Castiel’s mood only darkened. He’d never been to Gabriel’s vineyard; hadn’t even seen him in the five years it’d been since Gabriel had left home and now he was expected to _live_ with him.

Castiel _remembered_ him though. Thirteen, that was how old Castiel was when Gabriel had been kicked out; most of his recent memories of his brother were the disappointed lectures his mother gave him in which she instructed him _not_ to be like Gabriel.

And he was just supposed to be okay with moving into the guy’s house? Logically Castiel knew that Gabriel wasn’t as bad as his mother had always claimed. His memories of Gabriel, when he gave himself license to think about them were mostly happy. Just normal brother stuff, teasing, hanging out in the living-room and watching dumb tv together.

He remembered floppy, sand colored hair, sparkling amber eyes and a mischievous smile. He remembered the many, many times Gabriel had bribed him with his never-ending supply of candy not to tell their mom about the steady stream of men and women Gabriel ‘studied’ with.

He remembered clever pranks, and the frustration of trying to one-up each other until they’d both been grounded. Gabriel had always been better at pranking, but Castiel’s had been tactical and well thought out.

Other than that, Castiel couldn’t remember Gabriel ever _doing_ anything bad, could he? It’d all been second-hand from Naomi and he knew now exactly how much he could trust _her._

On the one hand, Castiel was glad he’d be seeing his brother. He’d missed Gabriel, and none of Naomi’s lectures had ever changed the fact that Gabriel had always looked out for him, like it was his job to make sure Castiel was happy, safe.

On the other, Castiel was nervous, and angry and so mind-numbingly sad about leaving his whole life behind that his stomach was in knots and his heart felt like it’d swollen up into his throat.

Disappointing Naomi _hurt,_  and even though Castiel knew he couldn’t do anything to stop it, he _wanted_ to. Wished he could fundamentally change who he was. He’d do it in a heartbeat just to get that warm approval, that affection and safety back from her. But he couldn’t and that just made everything worse.  

As they pulled onto the gravel driveway that led up to the big house, Castiel closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deep through his nose. He was going to be okay, he'd figure his shit out, and if Gabriel was taking him in like this, he must be at least kind of a good guy right?

The worry that Castiel had always felt over Gabriel and whether he’d been okay after he’d left with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a furious sort of sadness in his eyes dissipated when his brother came into view.

A little taller than Castiel remembered him, but not as tall as he might've expected. His hair was longer too, but his eyes were shadowed, he was backlit from the porchlight, and Castiel couldn’t make out his expression.

Even without it, Gabriel’s body was taut with barely checked anger and Castiel somehow knew it wasn’t directed at him. That Gabriel was just as upset with Naomi as Castiel didn’t alleviate his worries, but at least now he no longer felt like he was choking on panic.

His stomach still roiled with nerves when the car pulled to a stop. Naomi didn’t say anything to him, didn’t even look at him when she unclipped her belt, pulled the catch for the trunk and got out of the car. Castiel gritted his teeth, and opened his own door.

With a near-silent sigh, Castiel climbed out of the car after her and wrapped his arms around himself as he stood awkwardly beside it.

Gabriel walked down the steps, and the smile on his face was belied by the tense set of his shoulders when he glanced at Naomi before he turned his attention to Castiel.

“Cassie! It's good to see ya, kid!” Gabriel exclaimed cheerfully but stopped just short of them when Castiel flinched at the nickname he’d somehow forgotten.

“Hi, Gabe.” Castiel managed a tight smile to go with his greeting, and he was proud of how steady his voice was despite his emotional state.

A grin lit up Gabriel’s face and he closed the distance between them to wrap Castiel in a tight hug. It took a minute, but Castiel’s arms slowly came up to fold around Gabriel as his throat constricted with something that made tears sting at his eyes.

“Missed ya, kid.” Gabriel admitted and Castiel sucked in a sharp breath then let it out steadily as Gabriel squeezed him tighter for a second before he released him.

“Me too.”

Naomi glanced between her sons stone-faced before she shoved a duffel bag stuffed to the brim at Gabriel. He glanced down reflexively as his hands closed around it.

“These are all of his things.” Naomi told him stiffly and Gabriel’s eyes shot up.

“What d’you mean all of his things?” Gabriel asked, confused. “Didn’t the kid have books or knick knacks?”

Naomi shrugged a shoulder, and Castiel pointedly kept his mouth shut. He hadn’t been given time to pack anything more than his favorite clothes. He wouldn’t have had a bag to put them in anyway.

“Fine.” Gabriel grumbled, clearly frustrated. “So this is his stuff and that’s it? You gonna say goodbye to him at all?”

Castiel looked down at his feet and tried not to let it show how deeply the question cut, and how battered it left him feeling as he waited for the final blow.

“Goodbye, Castiel.” Naomi said woodenly, emotionlessly before she turned on her heel and climbed back into her car, her dissatisfaction palpable in her wake.

They watched as she drove away and as her taillights disappeared, Gabriel turned to face Castiel.

“Well, that went better than when she kicked me out.” Gabriel said, eyes gentle. “There wasn’t even yelling.”

“She said everything she needed to say earlier.” Castiel replied tiredly.

And she had, there’d been no end to the rant she’d delivered on all her wasted time and effort and how she’d been so upset to learn he couldn’t control himself and _did he even try_?

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry kid. This sucks for you. I know from personal experience. Bright side is, you still got me.” Gabriel told him genuinely and Castiel squashed down the burst of gratitude he felt because Gabriel hadn’t had anyone. “You probably don’t care right now, but I registered you at the local high school. You start Monday.”

The night sky was cloudless; a blotch of blue-black ink littered with pin-prick stars and Castiel tilted his head back to stare out into it as he sighed softly. They’d been two weeks into the school year, his senior year when his mom had caught him feeding. It hadn’t been the first time he’d done it, just the first time she’d caught him with his pants down… literally.

It should have been embarrassing, awkward, and for any other teenager it probably would have been, but for Castiel it had been horror and a crushing sense of foreboding that had filled him as he and his partner had scrambled for their clothes. He’d known what the consequences would be if he got caught, knew that what he was doing was wrong, not normal, knew that _this_ was exactly the sort of thing that would happen. And he’d still done it, because he couldn’t _help it._

There was something inherently twisted, abnormal, in his DNA that made him the way he was, and he would give _anything_ to change that.

“Listen, why don’t we go inside and talk. I know you’re probably tired, but there’s some stuff we need to clear up about what you are, what _we_ are and I can guarantee you whatever she told you is fucking wrong.” Gabriel said softly and Castiel nodded absently before he followed him up the front steps.

Once they were inside Gabriel ushered Castiel into a big living room. The floor was hardwood with a fluffy white rug underneath a big dark leather couch. The TV that sat opposite of it was massive, and Castiel briefly thought that Gabriel’s business must be doing well to afford all this. The room looked like something out of an interior decorating magazine, but with little touches that made it look lived in.

Castiel sank down into the corner of the couch, pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees, unconsciously trying to hold himself together. Next to the couch, Gabriel sat in a plush dark chair, legs crossed loosely at his ankles.

“First of all, I guess I just want you to feel at home here.” Gabriel told him simply, with a warm smile, the tension from earlier all but gone. “I made up a room for you but you can decorate it however you want. It’s yours for as long as you want it.”

“Thanks.” Castiel mumbled, voice smaller than he would’ve liked.

“Don’t mention it, kid. Least I could do.” Gabriel said with a shrug. “Second of all, and this part is important: Whatever mom said about you is bullshit.”

Reflexively, Castiel hugged his knees tighter, grief, resentment and self-loathing chased through him, and he sank further into the couch. He didn’t even know he was softly shaking his head until Gabriel spoke again.

“No, it is, Cassie. It’s crap.” Gabriel affirmed. “We’re not monsters, or disgusting or anything that she thinks. We’re _normal_. There are _tons_ of unseelie like us. Near as I can figure, dear old Dad must’ve been unseelie; I’m guessing incubus, ‘cause that explains how we feed. And, I mean, yeah, most of ‘em are monsters, but _we’re_ not. Difference is, we’re half light-fae, which means our brand of feeding doesn’t kill humans. Which, if you ask me, is a tick in the good-guy column.”

“Even if there are others, that doesn’t make it okay.” Castiel said automatically, rationally. “Just because other people do it doesn’t mean it’s morally right.”

“That’s true, I guess, but, the thing is, we don’t hurt anyone. That’s what makes it okay. You can sleep with people, feed, and they’re none the wiser. You don’t even have to compel them like a full incubus probably would, I never do, and you’re not gonna drain ‘em without a thought to stop. When I get hungry I just head into Kansas City, pick up a chick… or a guy, I’m not picky and give ‘em a night they won’t forget. It’s win-win. I get to feed, they get mind blowing sex they’ll fondly remember forever. No harm, no foul.”

“Gross.” Castiel muttered as he tried not to picture what Gabriel described.

Desperately, Castiel wanted to believe what Gabriel had said, wanted to believe there was nothing inherently _wrong_ with him, but two years of his mother trying to _fix_ him, prevent this, warred with the facts Gabriel spouted. She’d finally given up when the evidence of his inability to resist his darker tendencies had been shoved in her face. An abnormality, vulgar, not to be trusted around other seelie, that’s what she’d told him. And that was how he’d ended up dumped at Gabriel’s.

On the outskirts of the, mostly, human populated Lawrence, Kansas. Which meant, Castiel realized, his new school would be a human high school. He’d barely even interacted with humans before. He suddenly felt nervous, and an excited buzz settled under his skin.

His emotions had run the gamut and an exhausted anxiety settled over him, made him restless and itching to be alone, but he just tapped his foot on the cushion instead.

“It only sounds gross ‘cause I’m your brother.” Gabriel teased. “But I’m right, and you’ll figure it out on your own even if you can’t believe it right now. It took me a long time to come to terms with what I am, but ya can’t change biology, kid. The sooner you accept it and get over it, the better.”

Castiel let out another tired sigh, resentment and bleak depression still tinged the corners of his mind, but he felt himself relaxing around Gabriel. It was nice not to be treated like a freak, even if he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it.

“I’ll try.” Castiel said, stronger this time.

“Good. You’ve got a couple days to settle in around here before school, so you don’t have to unpack right away. Why don’t you get some rest? Or are you hungry?” Gabriel asked, sounding more concerned at the end. “I can make you something before I show you to your room? Though you’re welcome to raid the kitchen any time.”

“It’s fine. I’m just tired.” Castiel replied, overrun with exhaustion, mostly emotional, and he hoped his body would grant him the relief sleep would bring.

“Alright, kiddo. Lemme show you your room.”

Wearily, Castiel followed Gabriel out of the living room, up the large stairway and down a hallway to the third door on the left. A dorky little sign hung on the door with ‘Castiel’ written on it, a painted baseball and a bat on either side of his name. Castiel smirked and quirked an eyebrow at Gabriel.

“What? You were into baseball when I left. Figured it’d make it feel homey.” Gabriel said with a cheesy grin, then he pointed across the hall. “Bathroom’s in there, and my room’s the one next to the stairs.”

“Thanks, Gabe.” Castiel said as he walked into his room and Gabriel tossed his duffel down beside the door.

“No problem. Sleep tight.” Gabriel replied, a soft smile on his face.

Castiel rolled his eyes fondly and gave him a lazy salute before Gabriel shut the door behind himself on his way out.

The room was nice; same dark hardwood as the rest of the house, the walls were a dark grey, a blue and green area rug sat beneath a double bed with pale blue blankets and navy blue pillows. There was a modern-looking white dresser in one corner, a matching white nightstand beside the bed and a bookshelf sat empty next to the closet.

With a resigned sigh, Castiel wished he’d been able to grab his books before he’d been dragged out to the car. At least then this room would feel more like his.

He flopped down onto the bed, and groaned into the plush pillow his face wound up pressed into. Like it or not, this was his life now; he should get used to it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading along guys and for all the awesome comments you've left me, they really help motivate me and make all this worth it. <3

Monday morning came much too quickly despite the fact that Castiel had spent most of the weekend in his room. His mood had fluctuated between bored, angry, sad and just a little relieved that he was done dealing with Naomi’s crap.

Parked in the school parking lot, Castiel sat in the crappy car Gabriel had gotten him, an old, reliable Toyota Corolla. _These things last forever, Cassie. I researched it and everything._ Sure, the thing worked, but the doors were red, the body was a matte white that looked like someone had taken interior house paint to it instead of car paint and the front bumper was black. Not to mention the rust that crusted various spots; basically it stood out like a sore thumb.

When Gabriel had handed him the keys, Castiel had glanced dumbly between the car and him for a full thirty seconds before he realized Gabriel wasn’t fucking with him. _You expect me to drive that?_

Gabriel had grinned, and stuck the hand that held the keys out further toward Castiel. Annoyed, Castiel had rolled his eyes and grabbed the keys. A car was a car.

So, there he sat, at least ten minutes before anyone his age had arrived, already embarrassed. He tried to tell himself he didn’t care what his classmates would think of his car, but he already felt completely out of his element. In all likelihood he was probably the only non-human at the school and it was just one more thing that made him feel out of place.  

Not that anyone would know he wasn’t human; he _looked_ human, anyway. It was just one more secret about himself that Castiel would have to keep. Squashing down his insecurities, he forced a cocky smile onto his face as he looked at himself in his rearview mirror. Just like a car was a car; high school was high school. Fae or not, Castiel’s experience was that teenagers could practically scent weakness.

Just as he looked away from his reflection, a massive, shiny black car pulled into the lot. His eyes followed the car as it coasted smoothly into the space next to his. The driver’s eyes flicked over to him; vibrantly green, they sparkled with curiosity from a ridiculously handsome face and a sudden pang of hunger hit Castiel low in his gut.

A lopsided grin tugged at the driver’s full pink lips when he noticed that Castiel was watching him. Abruptly, Castiel broke eye-contact and climbed out of his car, then ducked back in to grab the backpack Gabriel had bought him; he’d almost forgotten in his haste.

At the sound of a car door slamming, Castiel looked up and was struck again with how good-looking the driver was. His hair was a golden brown, lit almost glowing in the early morning sun; he looked like he’d rolled out of bed, thrown on clothes and left the house with that effortless slightly-mussed style that never failed to start a low simmer of arousal curling through Castiel’s veins.

“Aww, don’t be mad, Sam. I was only half-serious.” The driver said to a younger kid with shaggy brown hair and big eyes, maybe his brother?

“Shut up, Dean!”

“Still need a ride after school or are you going over to _Jessica’s_?” Dean teased mercilessly a big, wide smile brightening his expression.

“I’m going to Jess’s you jerk!”

Dean just chuckled as Sam stormed off. Once Sam'd wandered into the school, Dean turned around to look at the rust bucket parked beside him. His gaze travelled over the mismatched body and his nose wrinkled involuntarily until his eyes fell on it’s owner.

Blue eyes were narrowed just a little, dark hair, tall, nearly as tall as Dean, slim and good-looking in a way that made Dean want to step into his space; close the distance between their lips and see how he tasted. Instead he smirked, and nodded his head at the disaster of a ride.

“Nice car.” Dean said sarcastically and Castiel’s hunger spiked at Dean’s rough voice.

 _Fuck_ , could he get any hotter? Leather jacket, check. Tight jeans, check. Fuck me boots, barest hint of a five o’clock shadow, deep voice, _check, check, check_. If Castiel had a type, hands down, Dean would be it.

Castiel shrugged, “Gift from my brother. Your car suits you though.”

“Oh yeah? 'Cause I'm sexy and timeless like her?” Dean replied, sarcastic grin firmly in place

“I was gonna say flashy and ostentatious. But you’re definitely right about the sexy part.” Castiel told him lightly, eyes locked with Dean’s as heat crackled between them nearly tangible.

Then Dean’s cheeks flushed slightly, like he hadn’t expected that response, and _yeah_ , Castiel _really_ liked that. Dean licked his lips while he briefly considered whether to continue the banter or go for broke and Castiel’s eyes tracked the movement. Broke it was.

“Yeah? You're not too shabby either.” Dean confessed with a smug smile.

Castiel smirked just as the bell rang, and he looked around, surprised to find the parking lot had almost filled with cars and students during their brief exchange. Right before Dean turned and headed for the school entrance, he flashed Castiel a wink.

As he walked away, Castiel watched him and he fought down the urge to pull Dean back and sate his hunger with him. Castiel took a deep breath and tried to push away the fantasy that instantly sprang to mind; _Dean in his lap, their lips pressed roughly together as their tongues tangled messily in an uncoordinated kiss and Dean slammed down hot and slick on his cock, over and over. Little grunts and panting breaths fell from Dean’s lips each time Castiel rolled his hips up._

Briefly, Castiel closed his eyes and breathed deep while he struggled with his urge to feed. It wasn’t even like it’d been that long since he’d fed last. He shouldn’t be this hungry, shouldn’t be having such a visceral reaction to Dean’s flirting. When his eyes opened he was the only one still in the parking lot. _Shit._

In a hurry, Castiel rushed quickly into the school and ducked into the office where he was given his schedule and directions to his class.

It was no surprise to Castiel that he was late to homeroom, but he still hesitated near the closed door as he wondered if he should knock or just walk into the room.

His question was answered when a woman with long wavy blonde hair poked her head out of the door and smiled widely when her eyes met his.

Relieved, Castiel returned her smile.

“Castiel Novak?” She asked warmly and Castiel nodded. “Come on in! I’m Mrs. Winchester, your homeroom teacher. Let’s introduce you to your classmates.”

Mrs. Winchester led him to the front of the class. Roughly thirty-some faces peered inquisitively at him, and Castiel’s eyes passed over them until they caught on a familiar one. _Dean._ Dean, who flashed him a half-smile and Castiel’s heart thudded uncomfortably loud in his chest.

The fact that no one else could hear it was fortunate, and Castiel dragged his attention away from Dean before he could do something stupid like blush in front of the class. Which was just freaking ridiculous, because Castiel _didn’t_ blush over attractive boys. Not much actually made him blush anymore, and yet one look from Dean had him fighting his body’s response.

“Alright, everyone! Meet Castiel Novak. He’s new, obviously.” Mrs. Winchester said by way of introduction as she waved a hand in his direction. “Castiel, do you wanna tell the class about yourself?”

“Not really.” Castiel answered honestly and his eyes flashed back to Dean when he snickered.

“That’s okay, I’m sure we’ll get to know you soon enough. For now, why don’t you go sit in that empty desk over by Dean? Wave hi, Dean.” Mrs. Winchester replied, and Dean dutifully waved. “Dean, why don’t you show Castiel around today?”

“I’ll show him around alright.” Dean agreed with a lascivious grin and Mrs. Winchester frowned while the class erupted in giggles and catcalls.

“Dean Henry Winchester, I taught you better manners than that.” She scolded, and Dean narrowed his eyes at her.

“Mom! You promised no talking about home at school!” He protested grumpily, and _oh, that’s kind of cute_.

Mrs. Winchester rolled her eyes at her son, Castiel tried not to smirk at him.  

“Castiel, go sit down. Dean _try_ to be respectful.”

Dutifully, Castiel went and sat beside Dean. He dug out a notebook from his backpack and took a few notes as Mrs. Winchester rattled off some announcements. Not that they were important, but it gave him something to concentrate on instead of letting his eyes wander over to Dean, who Castiel could feel surreptitiously glancing at him as his leg bounced nervously.

The idea that maybe he made Dean nervous caused a small smile to spread over Castiel’s lips;  He liked the thought of Dean on edge over him, wondered if Dean was thinking about him, if he was imagining doing half of the things to Castiel that Castiel was picturing doing to Dean.

For someone he’d met less than an hour ago, Castiel had already managed to spin several detailed, downright sinful fantasies about Dean Winchester. Each one ratcheted up the anticipation and hunger simmered just beneath his skin.

Dean definitely looked like he’d be good for a quick fuck; he was hot, interested without a doubt, if the way he kept trying to catch Castiel’s eyes was any indication, the confident way he’d flirted with Castiel appealed to him as well.

_Dean spread out, his back on a mattress, completely naked. Hands tied above his head, anchored to the headboard. His cock bobbed in the cool air of the room, precome pearled at the tip. Castiel laved his tongue over the slit, tasted the salty-bitter tang that was uniquely Dean, savoured it. He swirled his tongue around the head of his cock, flicked at the sensitive spot just below the rim on the underside._

_Dean gasped, and his hips wriggled in aborted little thrusts as he begged silently with his body. Castiel ignored his pleas, slid his tongue, hot and wet, down the length of Dean’s shaft, kissed his way back up it, again and again until Dean_ needed _more._

_‘Castiel, please, please. I need. God, I need. Please suck me off.’_

_Castiel smiled at the last press of his lips to the tip of Dean’s cock before he opened his mouth and-_

The bell rang, startled Castiel enough that he knocked his notebook right off his desk. Dean leaned down to grab the notebook and hand it to him. When Castiel smiled his thanks Dean’s cheeks tinged just a little pink.

“Hey, can I see your schedule, Cas?” Dean asked, curiously.

“Cas, huh? Are we at the cute nicknames stage already?” Castiel teased as one corner of his lips tugged up into a half-smile and Dean laughed.

“Force of habit.” Dean replied as his blush darkened and he gave a dismissive one-shoulder shrug. “Wanna show me your schedule?”

“Sure.” Castiel answered and handed over the sheet of paper.

“Sweet! We’ve got chem together next, oh and home ec this afternoon!” Dean said enthusiastically before he frowned. “Aw, but that’s it. How ‘bout I walk you to your other classes today anyway? That way you know where you’re going.”

“That’s very kind, Dean, but you don’t have to.” Castiel said, he didn’t want to put Dean out, despite how sweet he thought the offer was.

“Obviously, Cas. I want to though.” Dean said with a genuine smile, and Castiel was nearly stunned by the honesty on his face.

“Alright, then.” Castiel replied, his own cheeks pinked just faintly and judging by the way Dean’s smile grew, he’d definitely noticed it.

For fuck's sake, Castiel needed to get himself under control, first the hunger, and now he was practically mooning over Dean, _blushing_ over him. They'd just met, and his first impression of Dean had clearly been mistaken. Dean was unlikely to be the quick fuck type. He was too wholesome for Castiel, too good. His _mom_ was his homeroom teacher. It didn’t get much more whitebread than that.

Despite all of that though, when Dean grinned roguishly over his shoulder at Castiel as they walked out of class, the craving for Dean that burned in Castiel’s gut only intensified, he felt ravenous, and being near Dean only drove that need deeper. Honestly, Castiel didn’t know how he’d be able to hold out until the end of next period, let alone the end of the day.

He hadn’t had this much difficulty managing his appetite in ages. What the hell was it about Dean Winchester that had him all stirred him up? Sure, he was damn hot, but Castiel had seen and been with his fair share of extremely attractive men and women, so what made Dean so special? Castiel couldn’t understand what made him so _different_.

As he followed Dean to their class, he wondered if it might be because Dean was a human? But then, wouldn’t he have the same reaction to any human? Several had been checking him out during class, more in the hall, and he didn’t feel even a flicker of mild interest in return.

  
Somehow, someway, Dean had wholly captured Castiel’s attention in less time than it took watch a good TV show. _This can’t possibly be good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Castiel's car is actually based on a combo of my first car and my sister's first car. Mine was the matte white interior painted shitty car. Hers was the different colored doors and bumper. XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're subscribed, odds are you just got a notification for this chapter and you're wondering what the heck, because you already read chapter three. 
> 
> Reason being: I ended up not liking where my original plot was going, so I tore it all up, and started plotting from scratch again.
> 
> Finally, finally finished plotting yesterday thanks to help from the awesome @brenna_fae. Honestly couldn't have done it this fast without her wonderful self. 
> 
> Anyway, I just finished going back through to adjust the first few chapters to align them with the new, much better plot, and I expect updates will come much quicker after this. Chapter 3 should be back up by tonight, and I expect Chapter four to be out by Saturday night. <3
> 
> Trust me when I say you're gonna wanna re-read this chapter. I elaborated a fair bit on the smut, and I think it's much, much better now. ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and I'll see you with an actual update this weekend! <3<3

Chemistry passed in a haze of desire for Castiel. Dean sat two seats in front, one to the left of him, and Castiel could’ve sworn he could _smell_ Dean, even that far away; a combination of fresh spicy body wash, and something sort of citrusy, maybe cheap shampoo? Castiel wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, he _liked_ it, _a lot_ , even if it meant that he couldn’t concentrate at all on whatever the teacher said.

Time ticked by torturously slowly and it was a relief when the bell rang at the end of class. Castiel let out a soft sigh as Dean walked back toward him, backpack slung casually over one shoulder and a smile on his face.

“Ready to go?” Dean asked, and Castiel nodded his agreement.

Dean walked him to his next class, and when that let out, he was standing dutifully outside of the door to lead Castiel to his next one. There was something powerfully sincere about the way Dean kept his word, and by the time lunch rolled around it was taking everything Castiel had not to drag Dean to his car and fuck him in the parking lot.

They were walking side-by-side to the cafeteria and Dean kept catching the heated looks Castiel sent him. Dean bit his lower lip as heat pooled in his gut, _fuck,_  he wanted Castiel like he’d never wanted _anyone_. Not this fast.

Dean wasn’t exactly a virgin, he’d had a few relationships; Cassie for a while, then Lisa and last summer Aaron, but this thing with Castiel already seemed like more, like a need burning in his chest and Dean wasn’t sure what exactly to do with it.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean asked as he faced him, then guided them out of the stream of kids heading to the cafeteria so they could lean up against the wall.

“Dean?” Castiel questioned, his head quirked slightly to the side in confusion while his eyes flashed from the cafeteria door to Dean’s face.

“There’s, uh, this place…” Dean began, and then hesitated because what if he was reading the situation wrong? Unlikely- but if he was, he could just play it off as wanting to hang out alone. That wasn’t too weird, was it? “It’s- there’s a clearing in the woods, not super far or anything and, well, we’re allowed off school grounds at lunch and, uh, _maybeyouwannago?"_

 _Smooth, Winchester,_ Dean berated himself _. What the hell’s wrong with me?_

Castiel smiled slow and dark and Dean’s blood heated in veins. It was impossible for Castiel not to know exactly what Dean was asking with the way he stumbled over his words, his face flushed with arousal and Castiel’s earlier misgivings about Dean’s potential gave way to the desire that pulsed through him edged with an overwhelming hunger that effervesced under his skin. 

“Sure.” Castiel replied easily and Dean’s cheeks burned as his blush deepened.

“Awesome.” Dean replied as he tried not to look too excited, which was kind of a difficult task considering he was half-hard in his jeans.

Dean didn’t really know what the hell he was doing, he’d never been impulsive like this. Definitely hadn’t propositioned someone before, but _fuck,_  with the way Castiel had been looking at him- was _still_ looking at him, it felt more like a necessity than a desire.

Castiel trailed behind Dean as he followed him out of the school and off onto a path in the woods that surrounded it. Crisp fall air made it a little chilly, but the walk helped warm them, and Castiel didn’t mind the cold much anyway.

Clouds hung heavy in the sky, threatened rain, but Dean was pretty sure it would hold off. He hoped. The silence that hung between them was almost oppressive and Dean needed to break it for his own sanity.

“So where'd you come from?” Cas laughed a little, and Dean pressed his lips together in a faux-frown before he amended. “I mean, where'd you live before?”

“Des Moines.” Castiel replied a little more wistfully than he intended to.

Longing for his home, his old room, his things, his mom hit him unexpectedly hard, mingled with the bitter resentful loneliness he felt and his shoulders sagged a little before he crossed his arms self-protectively.

“Miss it?” Dean asked, eyes on the woods ahead, but it wasn’t really a question, not with the way Castiel had spoken the words.

“Some things. Some people.” Castiel replied with a shrug. “It’s fine though.”

Dean knew a request for a subject change when he heard one, he’d needed to do the same enough when John’s drinking had gotten really bad and even more often when he’d died. The thought dropped Dean’s mood faster than anything else could and Dean scrambled for something to break the sudden tension.

Rather quickly, the path faded into a barely noticeable trail, thick underbrush hardly trampled enough to tell it from the rest of the woods. Still, Castiel followed when Dean took them off the tiny path.

“It’s not much farther.” Dean informed Castiel as he glanced over his shoulder to look at him. _Ah, fuck it._  “So, seen anything interesting in Lawrence so far?”

As if there’s anything _that_ interesting in Lawrence, Dean thought, irritated with his own shitty small talk.

“Mmm.” Castiel hummed. “A few things.”

Well, that caught Dean’s attention. How Castiel looked at him left no doubt that Dean himself was included in those few things, and he tossed Castiel a lopsided grin in reply before he turned his attention forward as they pushed through the underbrush and breached the clearing.

“Welcome to my private sanctuary.” Dean announced theatrically with a grand a wave of his hand at it. “I don’t show it to just anyone, ya know. It’s where I usually come when I need to be alone.”

Castiel smiled at that, and it warmed something in his chest that Dean would bring him somewhere so personal, even if it was likely motivated by the need for somewhere private.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret.” Castiel said with a wink that Dean thought was just un-fucking-fair.

Dean smiled almost shyly at him, and Castiel’s heart beat kicked up. Dean was throwing off all kinds of yes-signals that Castiel could practically taste; his pupils dilated, his breathing had picked up, and his eyes kept flashing down to linger on Castiel’s mouth.

“So, did you bring me all the way out here for a reason, Dean?” Castiel asked deceptively gentle as he closed the slight distance between them in steady steps.

Dean took an instinctive step back, collided softly with a tree, and Castiel followed him keeping just a bit of space between them. Dean could barely feel the scratchy bark behind him through his worn leather jacket, but the solidity of it had his pulse racing.

“I dunno.” Dean smirked as he hooked his fingers into Castiel’s belt loops and tugged him closer. Fitted them tighter together. “Did you follow me all the way out here for a reason?”

“You asked me to.” Cas said, heat and desire like promises in his bright blue eyes.

“What if I asked you to kiss me?” Dean asked so quietly Castiel only just heard it.

“Then I guess it stands to reason, I’d kiss you.” Castiel answered readily, voice husky and low and the sound of it skittered down Dean’s spine; sent a rush of blood to harden his cock.

Dean gave him an amused smile before he leaned forward until their lips were almost touching- until they were breathing each other’s air and Castiel could only focus on one of Dean’s eyes at a time; the vibrant green of them diluted with caramel and flecks of olive this close.

“Kiss me, Cas.” Dean encouraged as his eyes drifted closed, his breath sultry on Castiel’s lips.

“Of course, Dean.” Castiel answered before he slotted their mouths together in an exquisitely desperate kiss that was _everything_.

Lust on Dean’s lips tasted better than anything Castiel had fed on before, and he groaned into Dean’s mouth while glowing blue-white energy swirled unseen to Dean around him; seeped from him into Castiel. Sweet and potent, it mixed with the physical pleasure in an intoxicating sensation that Castiel couldn’t get enough of.

Dean’s hands found their way to Castiel’s biceps as he deepened the kiss and he darted his tongue into Castiel’s mouth to taste and explore, to slip wetly against Castiel’s. Shaky with arousal, Dean was achingly hard in an instant and he didn’t really understand why but everything felt fucking fantastic. Kissing shouldn’t- normally wasn’t this goddamn _mind blowing._

When Castiel rolled their hips together in a hot, dirty grind, Dean gasped and threw his head back hard enough that it hit the tree with a soft thud. It fucking hurt, but pleasure rolled through him like concentric circles that flowed out from where Castiel thrusted against him and it dulled the pain from banging his head.

Castiel’s hand slipped between Dean’s head and the tree to cushion it. Dean flushed darker, warmth of a totally different sort warmed him at the gesture and a small smile shaped his lips until Castiel pulled his body back a little, took away the perfect goddamn friction that was driving him crazy.

Hands on his belt buckle slammed Dean’s senses into overdrive and his eyes flew open to lock on Castiel’s strong fingers where they worked open his pants.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean groaned, his voice, _heated_ and _gravelly,_ tripped lust like embers over Castiel’s skin.

And _fuck_ , Dean was gorgeous like this, all wanton and needy; lips perversely slick and swollen from their kisses, eyes hooded and dark. It stirred something possessive, _primal_ , deep within Castiel that seared brighter than the hunger which nearly consumed him.

The brilliant light that swirled around Dean’s soul- the desire that bled into Castiel- was perfect and pure and Castiel could tell it was going to be addictive; it just got sweeter the hotter that Dean got, the more his pleasure grew.

“Can I?” Castiel asked, still self-aware enough to garner consent, even if Dean’s lust-filled eyes already begged him to take- and _god_ , did he want to.

“ _Fuck, Cas. Yes_ , fuck yes.” Dean ground out, and it was sinfully carnal coupled with the flush on his cheeks, and the way his eyes scrunched closed as he tilted his head back again. Castiel’s fingers tightened reflexively in Dean’s hair and Dean bit his bottom lip at the sting of it.

Dean wouldn’t admit it to just anyone, but being pinned like this, Castiel’s hand holding his hair just shy of rough, was all kinds of hot. It brushed the surface of the stuff he never talked about, but had always wanted to try. Dean didn’t know if Castiel was just really good at reading people or if he just liked to take charge, but either way Dean’s body tingled with anticipation.

Castiel leaned in and sucked wet kisses over Dean’s jaw, slid his tongue along the hinge of it as he reached into Dean’s underwear and pulled his cock free.

They both moaned when Castiel stroked his hand over the hard shaft a few times; Dean was half-mad with pleasure, eyes screwed tightly shut as Castiel licked and nipped at the spot just under his ear while he jerked him slowly.

Dean was burning up, too hot, everything felt so fucking awesome that it was almost overwhelming. Castiel’s hand, soft and rough in all the right ways blended with the thrill of pleasure from where he sucked lightly at Dean’s neck.

Castiel got his own pants open one handed with practiced ease and with a tiny bit of focus he barely felt, Castiel used the energy he siphoned from Dean to slick his hand when he lined their cocks up and stroked them together.

“Fuck- fuck, ah, Cas!” Dean moaned at the feeling of Castiel’s cock, hot against his, Castiel’s fingers locked snugly around them as it slid firmly over both of them, tight and wet.

Dean had the brief clarity to wonder how he hadn’t noticed Castiel get out lube, but the drag of friction from Castiel’s cock as his hips twitched forward drove any coherent thoughts from Dean’s mind. All of it pushed Dean fast and hard toward a climax that hovered just out of reach.

“So hot, Dean.” Castiel growled into Dean’s skin and Dean shuddered at the completely wrecked sound of his voice. “You’re so fucking good, you taste- fuck, you taste so good.”

The wisps of light that churned around Dean pulsed in time to the slick thrust of Castiel’s hand, and Castiel panted as it filled him up in a way that nothing else could.

Ragged breaths fell from Dean’s lips as he held tight to Castiel’s arms, fingernails digging in through Castiel’s hoodie. Everything constricted, tightened, and ecstasy flooded his mind and body in electrically charged throbs that rocked him, sent him higher, closer.

It was all he could do to hold on and let Castiel take care of them both because anything more than that was completely beyond Dean right now. So turned on it nearly hurt and it just- it felt too _good_. _Too right._

“Cas-I’m- I’m-” Dean stuttered breathlessly, _so close, so fucking close_.

“It’s okay, Dean.” Castiel assured, words grunted into the skin of his throat. Goosebumps prickled up at the puffs of breath against the wetness where Castiel had been sucking. “Come for me.”

And something about the rough-velvet tone of his voice pushed Dean right over the edge; he combusted as his vision blacked out briefly.

Dean’s soul blazed white hot, energy spiked from him in heated licks as he came, and Castiel absorbed it, his body tingled with the intensity.

“Cas-Castiel!” Dean choked out; hot, wet come spilled over Castiel’s hand as Dean writhed into his grip.

Castiel tugged with his hand in Dean’s hair, guided him down and sealed their mouths together, wrung out the last drops of Dean’s climax. A burst of energy glowed hot between their lips as Castiel sucked it straight out of Dean’s mouth and Dean groaned before another spurt of come dripped weakly from his cock with a heavy twitch.

Dean tried to participate in the kiss, but his coordination was shot and it took everything he had just to try and keep up with Castiel until he finally let Dean’s softening cock slip from his grasp.

Castiel lazily rocked into his own fist, obscenely slick with Dean’s come as he pulled back and watched Dean slowly drift down from his orgasm. Everything about Dean was so _fucking hot_ , but the way he looked up, awed, satiated was honestly the sexiest thing Castiel had ever fucking seen.

Not more than a few seconds, just long enough for some steadying breaths, went by before Dean reached down and pushed Castiel’s hand away, replaced it with his own on Castiel’s cock.

A groan worked its way out of Castiel’s throat and his hips jolted into the ring of Dean’s hand. Dean smirked and Castiel bit his bottom lip gently in retaliation before he plunged his tongue into Dean’s mouth in a punishing kiss until it turned into nothing more than hot breaths against each others mouths when Castiel felt a familiar tightening in his gut.

“C’mon, Cas.” Dean whispered hotly against his lips, eyes locked on Castiel’s. “Show me what ya got.”

Castiel nodded absently almost overwhelmed by Dean’s eyes so intently focused on him while his muscles tensed, heat flared low in his abdomen and he soared closer at an alarmingly fast rate. Dean was relentless, the steady-hot rhythm of his hand was goddamn _perfect_. 

All it took was a flick of Dean’s wrist and his thumb running over the head of Castiel’s cock and then Castiel came with a drawn out moan of Dean’s name as his hips rolled in little involuntary thrusts.

Come splashed hot between them but Dean’s attention was on Castiel’s eyes and he could’ve sworn for just a moment they flashed silver when he came. Dean bit his lip and mentally shook himself, that was fucking ridiculous, it must’ve been a trick of the light.

Castiel collapsed forward against Dean, their foreheads pressed together, bodies flush as Dean’s arms wrapped around him and they rode out their afterglow together.

“Holy Shit, Cas. That was fucking… that was awesome. We should definitely do that again.” Dean said when he finally caught his breath and he managed to rub two brain cells together long enough to form a coherent thought.

Castiel flashed a smirk at Dean, practically radiated self-satisfaction.

“I suppose that could be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're from Lawrence, just know, that was Dean's opinion. Not mine. ;) I've never been and only did minimal research. Tbh, it's how I see my hometown. So no offense, I'm sure it's actually super interesting with lots of sights to see, and... Yeah, I'm gonna stop sucking up now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! A new chapter! And it's actually on time! Shocker, right? Hopefully it won't be too long until the next update, and like always thank you so much to everyone who's liked, commented or subscribed. You totally make this worth it, and I hope you have as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing it.

Castiel rubbed his bare arms as he sat at a desk in his math class, his plain green t-shirt offered scant warmth in the cool air. The hoodie he’d been wearing earlier hadn’t been salvageable after his interlude with Dean in the woods, so he’d ended up balling it up and then shoving it in the bottom of his backpack when they’d gotten back to school.

Luckily for Dean, it’d been fairly simple to clean off his jacket and then zip it up to cover up the stains on his t-shirt. Even if he was a little uncomfortable, Castiel certainly didn’t regret it. Though with the edge taken off of his hunger, he felt a little irritated with his own lack of self-control.

The class was quiet as everyone tried to fill in their worksheets. Castiel had finished triple checking his work a few minutes ago and he glanced around the class bored. The girl who sat across from him grinned and gave him a thumbs up. He raised an eyebrow before he looked back down at his paper, and didn’t do anything else to encourage her attention.

A second later a folded up note landed on his desk and Castiel repressed an annoyed sigh. It was his first day, and he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot by rejecting the girl who sat next to him, but he wasn’t at all interested. Not that she wasn’t pretty with her short wavy red hair and pale hazel green eyes, just that Castiel couldn’t get the memory of Dean out of his mind.

Which was another thing that had him tense; he’d made loose plans with Dean for a repeat of this afternoon. Castiel hadn’t _ever_ been with someone more than once. It’d been too risky. Even if most seelie couldn’t tell he was feeding on them, there was always the chance they might be one of the rare ones who could or that prolonged exposure would give them a clue.

The note on his desk dragged his thoughts back to the present and he looked up at the girl. She just gave him a broad grin and waved her hand in a get-on-with-it motion. Castiel’s brow furrowed as opened the note.

 _Hey! I’m Charlie Bradbury. You’re new right? Couldn’t help but notice you finished super early too. We should totally be friends. I’m so bored! Dorothy, my girlfriend (she’s at the desk behind me) says I can’t bug her in math class anymore, and there’s_ _nothing_ _to do. Wanna play a game instead of going over your work for what, the fourth time?_

That she had a girlfriend was a relief. Castiel looked back up at her, and Charlie’s face was a perfect rendering of earnest pleading. A smile that tugged at the corners of his lips softened it when Castiel rolled his eyes. Charlie smiled brightly at him and mimed writing. Castiel had to bite his lip to hold in the chuckle that tried to break free at her enthusiasm.

 _What kind of game?_ Castiel scribbled, then he checked to make sure the teacher’s back was turned before he tossed the note back onto Charlie’s desk.

He _was_ bored after all. Though he hadn’t for a second thought he’d make a friend on his first day, it looked like he was on his way to having two, if Dean counted and despite himself, Castiel hoped he did. Even if Dean was too good for him.

_Dunno! Didn’t get that far in my planning. Wasn’t sure you’d say yes. ;) Truth or Dare? Never have I ever? Two truths and a lie? Tic-tac-toe? Whatever tickles your fancy. Or we could just ask each other dumb questions to waste time. I totally have a good one!_

Castiel read the note and weighed his options. Truth or Dare seemed like a disaster ready to happen, so that was out. Never have I ever might be difficult to navigate his way through without slipping up and revealing more than he should. He had no idea what two truths and a lie was. Tic-tac-toe seemed safe enough, but still boring.

_Dumb questions, I guess._

Charlie smirked at him when she checked what he’d written.

_Gee you’re so talkative, Castiel. It is Castiel right? Like that’s how you spell it? Anyway! That’s not my question. My dumb question is…. If you could choose one superpower what would it be and why?_

Superpower, huh? Castiel went with his gut instinct.

_Yeah, it’s Castiel. To fly, I guess? So I could travel whenever/wherever I wanted. You?_

Charlie didn’t even pause before she filled in her answer and handed the paper back, eyes sparkling with humor.

_Laser eyes. Dunno why, just always wanted them. They’d probably come in handy for something._

Castiel quietly snickered at the absurdity of her answer and when he looked back up Charlie seemed pleased with herself.

The rest of the class was filled with answering a variety of questions that although they weren’t really personal, left the two of them with a better sense of one another. Castiel wasn’t sure he deserved a friend like Charlie, didn’t know why on earth she’d even chosen to speak to him, but she had already started working her way into his life and he found that he was oddly thankful for it.

Being in a new place was hard enough, starting school late was worse, and with his old life in tattered heaps, Castiel felt off-kilter and unsure of himself. The only time he’d felt like he wasn’t falling apart was when he’d been with Dean. So it was nice, here, to have Charlie decide to be his friend without any prompting. He hadn’t even known he wanted a friend, wouldn’t have thought he was up to being social, but this was easy and comforting. He liked Charlie.

When the bell rang to signify the end of class, Charlie gave him another friendly smile and introduced him quickly to Dorothy who turned out to be just as welcoming as Charlie had been.

“See ya tomorrow, Castiel!” Charlie called over her shoulder as Dorothy pulled her into the stream of people who filled the hallway.

“Bye, Castiel!”

Dorothy was already out of sight when her goodbye rang out and Castiel couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face or the way he felt just a little more comfortable with his new school.

Dean was outside the door when Castiel made his way out of the class. A slow, warm, smile lit up his face as Castiel stopped in front of him. Castiel looked damn good in just his plain green t-shirt, and a nervous kind of exhilaration filled Dean because the fact he didn’t have his hoodie on was a reminder of their earlier activities.

“Ready for home ec?” Dean asked.

Dilated pupils. Dean’s cheeks were flushed too and Castiel had to work hard to ignore those facts even though he’d just fed, even though he was full. It didn’t stop a tiny tug of want from pulling him a little step closer to Dean as he answered.  

“Not really.” Castiel said. “Gabriel, my brother, signed me up for my classes. He probably thought he was being funny because I hate cooking.”

It was a white lie, Castiel didn’t hate cooking; Cooking hated him. He was terrible at it. The sort of person who could barely be trusted to boil water without burning the pot. He probably wouldn’t have been so bad at it if he could have kept his attention on it, but he always lost interest rapidly, which had led to many burned dishes before he’d given up. That’s what microwaves and instant food were for.

“Hey, it’s not _just_ cooking. Ya learn to sew too.” Dean teased with a self-deprecating smile. “My mom _strongly encouraged_ me to take it. Apparently I need _life skills_ to survive on my own.”

“Sewing. Awesome. Another thing I’m not skilled at.” Castiel said dryly.

Not that he’d ever attempted to sew before, but if it was anything like cooking, odds were he wouldn’t like it. He frowned and wondered if he could switch out for something else, but then he’d lose one of his two classes with Dean and Castiel didn’t want that.

“Hmm. Someone’s a pessimist.” Dean said with a wink. “C’mon, today we’re making apple crumble. Which is basically fancy pie. In other words, it’s awesome.”

“Unless it’s burnt, like mine will be.” Castiel said and Dean chuckled.

The look on Castiel’s face was hopeless and Dean didn’t like that one bit. He slung an arm over Castiel’s shoulders as they walked and leaned in close to his ear.

“Why don’t I see if we can partner up for today? I’ll help you, and if we manage not to burn the apple crumble we can celebrate after school?”

Castiel bit his lip at the hot puffs of air that brushed his ear with each word. Dean was a solid line of heat down Castiel’s side and it felt amazing. How could he want Dean this much already? It was ridiculous, but he did. And he really wanted to find out exactly what Dean meant by ‘celebrate’.

“Yeah.” Castiel said, a little dazed and Dean flashed a blinding smile in response.

Before he knew it Castiel found himself in a room that housed a bunch of ovens and workstations, sharing a space with Dean. They both had on nearly worn out white aprons that hung around their necks and tied at their waists.

Dean thought Castiel looked adorable; there were white streaks of flour in his hair from where he’d run his hands through it and his forehead was creased as he carefully measured out ingredients. His tongue peeked out the side of his mouth just a tiny bit in concentration and Dean vividly remembered how that tongue had felt as it slid over his lips, his neck.

He wondered how it would feel slipping over one of his nipples, imagined Castiel’s mouth closing around the hardened flesh of it and sucking as his fingers trailed lower. Dean shifted as his pants grew uncomfortably tight and cleared his throat when Castiel looked up at him.

“See, not that hard, right?” Dean asked, ignored how his voice was a little rough.

The way Castiel’s eyes darkened though, clearly showed he hadn’t missed it but he didn’t mention it either.

“Not so far, but this isn’t the part I find difficult.” Castiel said.

It was easy to pretend, in a class surrounded by other teenagers and their teacher that the two of them were just a couple of ordinary humans when Castiel couldn’t be further from it. Dean made it so _easy_ for Castiel to be himself that it almost scared him. Even though Dean didn’t know his secret, didn’t know what he was, he made Castiel feel normal for a little while, and that was almost as addictive as feeding with him had been.

When the timer for the oven went off, Castiel held his breath as Dean opened the door. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for. If it came out perfect, Dean wanted to celebrate and he sort of desperately wanted to know what Dean meant by that, but at the same time it was a little terrifying because he didn’t really know what Dean wanted from him.

Castiel tried to remind himself they’d just met, and that he didn’t need to overthink things, but he had no experience to go by. This was uncharted territory for him. Sex he could do. Sex he knew. If Dean wanted more than that? Castiel wasn’t sure he could.

Not that Dean had indicated in any way that he wanted more, he certainly hadn’t said anything like that to Castiel. It was just a feeling Castiel had, based on the day’s events, that Dean wasn’t just looking for someone to casually fuck around with. Why else would he be so nice, if that was all he wanted why bother with all the help when it was obvious that Castiel wanted him just as much?

All of that went through Castiel’s head in the time it took Dean to pull out a perfectly browned apple crumble. Once he’d set it on the stovetop to cool, Dean pulled off the oven mitts he was wearing and turned to face Castiel with a triumphant grin. Castiel smiled back automatically as nerves exploded in his stomach.

“Guess we’re celebrating tonight.” Dean said, eyes shining happily.

Dean’s pulse kicked up when Castiel licked his lips nervously. All sorts of ideas for how they could celebrate spun out in his mind. Everything from taking Castiel out to dinner on a date all the way through to raunchy sex in the backseat of his car. It took him a while to settle on something in between but Dean figured he should keep it casual.

“Looks like.” Castiel agreed. “So what did you have in mind?”

Dean cracked a smug grin, “You’ll see. If you text me your address, I’ll pick you up around six. Unless you have other plans?”

Castiel debated saying that he did, because he _hated_ surprises, but the look on Dean’s face was so hopeful he just couldn’t bring himself to let him down, so he pulled out his phone and handed it to Dean.

“Put your number in and I’ll text you.” Castiel said.

A mix of anticipation and apprehension coursed through Castiel as Dean keyed in his number and he wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision or not, but when Dean looked up and positively beamed at him, Castiel was glad he’d agreed.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to [@Brenna_Fae](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenna_Fae/pseuds/Brenna_Fae) for her help when I got stuck. She's awesome and you should totally check out her work. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look at me, posting three weeks in a row. It's an early Christmas miracle! ;) As usual I hope you enjoy it! And feel free to comment or visit me over on tumblr [@DaydreamDestiel](daydreamdestiel.tumblr.com)

Nervousness settled in the pit of Dean’s stomach as he pulled to a stop in front of Castiel’s house. Without any hesitation though, he pulled out his phone and texted Castiel to let him know he was there. Dean kind of wanted to walk up to the door and knock to pick him up, but it wasn’t really a date. Or was it? Maybe it was not-not-a-date. Whatever, that was just semantics. Dean reminded himself _again_ to take it slow and be _casual_.

Even after only knowing him a day though, he _liked_ Castiel. More than a little too. Probably too much if he was honest, but what wasn’t to like? Fun, sarcastic, hot, did he mention the mind-blowing not-even-sex sex?

He didn’t wanna fuck things up by coming on too strong or something equally dumb. Dean was perfectly capable of self-sabotage in much less embarrassing ways. Or not at all. He could just _not_. Yeah, that’d be _awesome_.

Castiel opened the door and yelled back through it before he shut it behind himself and walked to the car. Dean’s heart rate sped up the closer Castiel got. It didn’t help that he looked like something out of a goddamn wet dream; tight dark jeans that hugged his thighs, a black shirt visible through the unzipped front of his fucking _hot as hell_ red leather jacket.

 _Jesus,_ the guy should come with a warning, Dean thought as Castiel opened the door and slid in. Castiel smirked at the slightly stunned expression on Dean’s face and Dean rubbed the back of his neck a touch self-consciously.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said.

“Hi Dean.” Castiel replied.

The faint blush on Dean’s cheeks combined with the way he kept sneaking glances down Castiel’s body made Castiel huff a little amused laugh. His clothes had clearly garnered their intended reaction.

“Shut up.” Dean grumbled as his eyes snapped up to Castiel’s with an awkward smile.

“You could just say ‘You look nice, Cas’ y’know.” Castiel said, smirk widening into a grin.

Castiel still didn’t know what to expect from Dean tonight, still felt apprehensive about where things might be going with them, but he couldn’t resist teasing Dean just a little.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, “You look nice, Cas.”

Castiel laughed, his eyes crinkled and Dean grinned dorkily back at him. A flutter of excitement flared up in Castiel’s stomach. He wasn’t sure where to go from there. Were they just going out as friends? Did Dean think this was a date? Was this a date? Castiel could probably have cleared it all up by maybe _talking_ to Dean, but how did you ask something like that without sounding desperate? You didn’t.

“So, gonna tell me where we’re going now?” Castiel asked curiously.

“Nope. Still a secret.” Dean replied as he started the car back up.

A quick shoulder check later and they were on their way. The drive didn’t take all that long, and the rock music that quietly filled the interior kept the silence from being completely weird.

“Close your eyes.” Dean said when he slowed his car and put on the blinker.

Castiel raised an eyebrow at him, but Dean just flashed him a disarming smile and Castiel closed his eyes with a sigh. The car made a left turn and then stopped. Castiel very nearly peaked. It took a lot of faith for him to trust that he wasn’t in danger, though he had no reason to think he would be. Trust wasn’t something Castiel had a lot of at the moment, but for some reason Dean made him want to manage it.

The sound of the car door as it opened and shut again wasn’t unexpected and Castiel tilted his head inquisitively, like if he concentrated hard enough maybe he could hear where they were. Unfortunately he had no such luck. His car door opened, and Castiel’s heartbeat jumped as Dean leaned across him to unbuckle his seatbelt.

Dean was so close, and so warm and he smelled just as mouth-wateringly fantastic as he had earlier in the day. Hints of fresh arousal clung to his skin and it took a lot of mental effort for Castiel not to reach out and pull Dean’s face to his and-

Dean beat him to it; gentle, big hands cupped Castiel’s face and Dean’s lips brushed his in a kiss that Castiel just barely felt. Surprising, how such a light touch could inspire such an inferno under Castiel’s skin, yet there it was.

The only thing that stopped Castiel from chasing the heat of Dean’s mouth when he pulled away was Dean’s hands on his jaw and his low chuckle.

“Much as I’d love to climb back in the car with you and have a, uh, a repeat of earlier... I’m sorta, kinda lookin’ forward to seeing your reaction when you get to see where we are.” Dean said with no small trace of amusement in his voice.

Castiel tried not to pout, though judging by the entertained noise Dean made, he failed spectacularly. He still felt unbalanced and unsure of himself, which the kiss with Dean had only accented. Like some kind of reminder of what he was good at and what he wasn’t. Of course, Castiel knew Dean hadn’t meant it that way and he’d definitely enjoyed it, would _still_ be enjoying it if Dean hadn’t stopped them.

“Then maybe you should let me open my eyes.” Castiel proposed grumpily.

“Almost.” Dean said, he wanted to draw out the anticipation.

Or maybe he was hit with a sudden flash of nerves at the thought that Castiel might not like where he brought him. After all, he barely knew Castiel and honestly, for all he knew Castiel would hate it. Dean squared his shoulders, and guided Castiel out of the car.

The place was quiet, Castiel couldn’t help his frown at that observation. There was very little traffic going by, which told him next to nothing. Castiel’s frustration was cut short when Dean laced their fingers together and pulled Castiel into a slow walk.

“C’mon. Promise I won’t let you walk into anything.” Dean said and Castiel could hear the smile in his voice.

Castiel would’ve rolled his eyes if they were open, “It’d be a pretty poor surprise if you did.”

Dean laughed, “Hey, you’d be surprised, just not in the way I want you to be.”  

“Yeah, and how do you _want_ me to be?” Castiel asked, his voice low and dripping innuendo.

A sudden intake of breath from Dean made Castiel smirk as hunger simmered in his gut. Apparently he was _actually_ insatiable when it came to Dean because no way should he _already_ be craving the feel of Dean’s bare skin beneath his fingers, and the taste of Dean’s breathy little moans.

And yet it was all Castiel could think about which frankly, he was grateful for because at least that he didn’t feel nervous about.

Dean finally stopped and for a brief moment Castiel expected hot lips to press against his, but like he’d said, Dean had other plans.

“Open your eyes, Cas.”

Castiel blinked his eyes open, and stared, then looked blankly at Dean and then back again. Batting cages? Dean had brought him to outdoor batting cages… but why? He couldn’t have known; Castiel hadn’t mentioned that he used to play baseball. It hadn’t come up, and this was too much of a coincidence. Had Dean talked to Gabriel? No, he couldn’t have, hadn’t had the time even if he’d wanted to… So then…

“I don’t… I, uh.” Well that was eloquent.

Dean’s face dropped a little and his stomach sank, “Sorry. I, um, I thought it’d be fun. Figured I could teach you if you, ya know,  needed me to and it’d be, um, but if you- if you wanna go somewhere else we can-”

“Dean.” Castiel cut him off and Dean’s eyes dropped shyly to Castiel’s feet.

Some of his hair fell down over his left eye almost like he was hiding behind it as a faint blush spread over his cheeks.

 _Fuck, that’s adorable._ Castiel sighed softly, a small smile on his lips as he grasped Dean’s chin gently, forced him to look back up at him. Embarrassed green eyes met his and Castiel’s smile widened reassuringly.

“It’s fine. It’s good.” Castiel said.

Dean’s eyes flicked between each of Castiel’s like he was making sure that Castiel was telling the truth. When he was met with nothing but sincerity the tension melted out of his body.

“Yeah?” He asked, relief evident in his voice.

“Yeah.” Castiel answered with a smirk. “I was just surprised.”

Dean grinned, “That _was_ my goal, I guess. Trust me, it’ll be fun. Promise. Just lemme go pay and get us some balls.”

The optimistic look on Dean’s face made Castiel want to play along, so he smiled and agreed to give it a try like he’d never done it before.

Castiel waited while Dean went off to get the stuff, and when he returned they made their way over to the cages. They had their pick since no one else was around, which was probably typical for a Monday just after supper. Dean still chose the one furthest from the parking lot

Once he’d gotten everything set up, Dean grabbed the bat that was propped in the corner and the helmet that sat on a ledge. Castiel rolled his eyes when Dean put the helmet on him, but then Dean brushed another kiss against his lips and Castiel forgot why he was irritated.

“Here, you take the bat. Once the ball gets hit, the cage is on a bit of an incline, so the balls’ll just roll into where they get collected. Kinda why I like this place. Get to be lazy about cleanup.” Dean said after he hit the button to start up the pitching machine. He handed the bat over and Castiel took it in a loose grip. “Here, lemme show you how to-”

The clunk of the machine throwing out the first ball sounded as Dean’s arms slid smoothly around Castiel and guided his hands into a proper grip. Castiel had to resist the urge to smirk and give away the fact that he knew how to hit a baseball. Could probably do it in his sleep.

There was just something so endearing about this moment that all of Castiel’s worries and doubts, just vanished and faith for once was easy. Because it was faith in Dean and the solid arms around him.

Dean’s chest was hot against Castiel’s back, and Castiel liked it, liked the feeling of Dean surrounding him so he let Dean maneuver their hands into a swing. The bat connected solidly with the ball, and Castiel could hear the smile in Dean’s voice when he said _Yeah, just like that Cas!_

By the time the pitching machine ran out of balls, both of them were sweaty with the exertion and their jackets had long been tossed onto the ground out of the way. Dean pulled the helmet off of Castiel’s head and Castiel grimaced at the feeling of sweat dampened hair sticking to his forehead.  

Dean’s fingers brushed it back and if they lingered just a little longer than was called for, it wasn't like Castiel would complain. The bat slipped from Castiel's hands and neither of them could tell you who made that first move, but suddenly they were frantically kissing, Dean’s hands in Castiel’s hair, and Castiel’s fisted in the material of Dean's shirt.

Castiel wanted to taste every inch of Dean's mouth, so he did, his tongue flicked and slid against Dean’s in a deliciously dirty tease. He could feel, _taste_ the desire quivering in the air between them. Dean groaned, and the sound of it, low and filthy sent heat right to Castiel’s dick. _Fuck_ , he wanted Dean so badly, but this wasn’t the place for it.

And it was that thought that sobered him, the realization that anyone could walk by and see Dean like this; needy and completely abandoned to the lust coursing through him. Something possessive, and frankly a little frightening in Castiel wanted to keep that to himself. Didn’t want anyone else to see Dean like that, so he made himself pull back, but not without a parting nip at Dean’s swollen lower lip.

Dean took a shaky breath before he opened his eyes again. When his lashes fluttered open, for a moment all he saw was blue, and then his vision resolved and Castiel was smirking at him, all self-satisfaction and heat. And _yeah_ , they needed to get somewhere more private right _now_ , because Dean was achingly hard in his jeans, and he could feel Castiel was too.

It said a lot about Dean’s willpower, that he hadn’t started rutting against Castiel the way his body practically screamed to. Dean realized that they’d been silently staring at each other for way longer than was normal or socially acceptable, but it didn’t feel weird at all. It felt _so_ damn _perfect_ and it had no right to.

“We should, uh… Do you wanna, maybe, go somewhere?” Dean suggested, still flustered, but alert enough to wanna punch himself for his inability to just say what he wanted.

“Yeah.” Castiel said and then he leaned close again so that his lips were against Dean’s ear hot and humid and sparks of exhilaration scraped down Dean’s spine. “And when we get there, I wanna suck your hard, hot, cock just like I've been thinking about ever since I saw you this morning. I bet you taste fucking _perfect._ You made such sweet noises today Dean, so hot, but what I really want is to hear you fall apart with my mouth on your cock and my fingers in your ass.”

Dean’s eyes had glazed over while Castiel spoke and he shuddered involuntarily, looked completely debauched when Castiel kissed him again, just lightly that time. Little nibbles and nothing more than open mouthed brushes of soft, wet, lips over one another, but it still made Dean’s blood race in his veins. _Fucking Christ,_ did he ever want that too.

“I-I, uh, yeah, that. Let's, uh, let's go do that.” Dean said with a vigorous nod.

“I thought you might be amenable to it.” Castiel said, pleased. “You'll have to let go of me long enough for that to happen though.”

Castiel couldn't resist the tease and Dean’s face flamed as he dropped his hands like he'd been burned. He glared half-heartedly at Castiel before he reached down to tangle their fingers together again.

“C’mon then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, big huge thanks to [@Brenna_Fae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenna_Fae/pseuds/Brenna_Fae) for the batting cages suggestion when I struggled with where the heck Dean was gonna take Cas. Thanks my awesome fandom-wife for being awesome af!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, long time no update. I got totally caught up in [The Down to Agincourt Series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/110651). Hence the no writing for so long. It's a wip, and it's fucking amazing if you haven't read it you really, really should. Just be prepared to lose a couple weeks of your time. ;) 
> 
> Anyway, long story short, enjoy the much awaited smut! Tags are about to be updated, because I forgot to do that first. ^-^;

The gravel parking lot Dean stopped in was deserted. Off the old dirt road his Uncle Bobby lived on, weeds popped up through the gravel because no one bothered to maintain it. Whoever owned it didn’t care enough to. In other words, privacy was basically guaranteed out there. No angry property owner was gonna discover them, and no one was gonna call the cops. Perfect.

“You take me to all the nicest places.” Castiel said dryly when Dean cut the engine.

Dean smirked at him, “Yep, five-star parking lots and clearings all the way.”

It was dark, full dark, and Dean’s eyes were barely adjusted enough to see Castiel, but there was no mistaking the dirty promise of a smile on his face when he slid closer to Dean. Warmth radiated off of him and Dean soaked it in, leaned into it like he couldn’t get enough of him. And that was true enough, he supposed.

“So, did you bring me all the way out here for a reason, Dean?” Castiel asked, a playful echo of earlier in the day. 

“Ya _know_ , I _did_.” Dean answered softly, huskily, shifted closer to Castiel until their thighs were pressed together and brought his hand up, skimmed his thumb casually along the column of Castiel’s neck from his jaw all the way down to brush across his collarbone. Made Castiel shiver with a rush of anticipation. Gradually while he spoke, Dean closed the distance between them until his lips brushed Castiel’s ear and his words were barely more than soft hot puffs of air. “Someone, not gonna name names, told me he wanted to suck my cock. And, not gonna lie, I’m really looking forward to that.”

Castiel grinned as he straddled Dean’s thighs, held himself just over Dean’s lap, his arms draped over Dean’s shoulders, “Mmm. Actually, I believe I said I’d suck your cock with my fingers in your ass.”

“Trust me, Cas, _really_ wasn’t gonna forget that part. I’ve been thinking about those hands and that mouth all damn day.” Dean admitted, glad it was dark so Castiel couldn’t see the blush that heated his cheeks at the admission.

The darkness was a blessing and a curse because while he was glad Castiel couldn’t see him, he hated not seeing the desire he knew was in Castiel’s eyes right then. Got just a glimpse of it when Castiel shifted forward a little until they were nearly kissing.

“Is that right?” Castiel asked, voice low and gravelly in a way that sent tingles through Dean. “Anything specific you thought about?”

Everything, was the honest answer. Dean had a healthy imagination. A goddamn great one, in fact, and all day from that very first moment in the parking lot at school he’d been picturing exactly what he wanted Castiel to do to him, what he wanted to do to Castiel. It was weird as fuck, honestly, because yeah, he’d always slipped easily into fantasies, but never so often, not always about the same person.

Literally every few minutes he’d pictured a different scenario, they ran the gamut from blow jobs, hand jobs, fingering, sex, all the way to the kinky shit; Castiel spanking him, tying him up, making him beg.

He couldn’t say that though. No way to say all that without coming off like a perv. He needed something, anything to pop into his head so he could form a goddamn answer. Not that it was easy with Castiel hovering so close to his cock that he could feel the heat of Castiel’s body through his jeans and underwear. Fuck.

“Pictured you, um, using your tongue… on- uh, me.” Dean said, random fantasy selected.

“On you where?” Castiel asked cockily, and Dean blushed dark pink.

Even if he couldn’t see it Castiel knew he did, could hear it in the sharp way Dean inhaled. Castiel’s cock throbbed for attention in his too-tight pants. They hadn’t even kissed, Dean had barely touched him, and he was so fucking hard for him. Dean shy was hot. Like really hot and the drawn out silence while Dean worked up the nerve to answer just cranked up the tension between them.

Dean bit his lip, chewed on it a second before his eyes slipped shut and he answered, “Rimming, Cas. I imagined you rimming me.”

“Yeah?” Castiel ran his tongue, wet, warm and silky over the indents in Dean’s lower lip before he sucked it into his mouth. Dean groaned, lust, hot and heady, washed through him, his hands clutched Castiel’s hips and his thumbs slipped under Castiel’s t-shirt, stroked his hipbones firmly.

A swirl of burning pleasure lit up the car, invisible to Dean, but it gave Castiel enough light to see the green of Dean’s eyes partially eclipsed with the dilation of his pupils, _so hot_ , when he ground down onto Dean’s cock. Circled his hips exactly right, friction perfect. Dean panted with it, _God, so fucking good_.

“Yeah.” Dean breathed into Castiel’s mouth in the scant seconds he had after Castiel released his lip and then Castiel’s tongue pushed in to taste him.

And fuck, Dean tasted good, like carnal lust and frantic arousal. It went straight to Castiel’s dick, fed his hunger, and ignited a craving for more. He needed Dean naked, _now,_ right now. Didn’t wanna waste a second, so he broke away from Dean’s lips while he reached between them to unzip Dean’s jacket, the sound of the zipper a stark, potent counterpoint to their harsh breathing and the silence of the car.

Seconds later Castiel pushed the jacket off Dean’s shoulders, down and off Dean’s arms, grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Tossed it into the back seat. Dean’s chest was smooth, rosy pink nipples already budded slightly in the cool air, and Castiel _needed_ to taste them too.

He shifted his weight back further to balance himself on Dean’s spread legs and bent forward to circle one dusky nipple, rough and pebbled beneath the smooth, slick, sweep of his tongue. Dean bit his lip but couldn’t muffle the groan Castiel pulled from him when he sucked the sensitive flesh into his mouth and scraped his teeth over it.

 _Fuck_ , that was awesome, felt way, way better than it should. So damn hot, Dean’s body was on fire, sweat dampened his skin. He shuddered when Castiel licked a trail from one nipple to the other and gave it the same treatment. Aching, needy, cock trapped in thick denim, Dean knew his underwear had a damp spot, could feel it sticking to him, should’ve felt gross but didn’t, just felt goddamn perfect. He squirmed a little under Castiel, couldn’t help it when Castiel bit down on his nipple just shy of painful and a flash of _holy-shit-awesome_ nearly shut his brain down.

Dizzy, Dean’s head swam and he could hardly focus on anything but Castiel. Wasn’t sure why he’d ever want to, because that was goddamn perfection right there.

“Ahh, fuck, Cas.” Dean breathed, so turned on he couldn’t keep quiet, already on the edge of begging Castiel for what he wanted.

“So... fucking… responsive.” Castiel murmured against Dean’s skin as he licked and sucked his way back up Dean’s neck, scraped the sharp edges of his teeth deliciously over the shell of Dean’s ear. Whispered hot against it, little more than heated breaths that sent liquid fire through Dean’s veins. “Gonna make you feel so good, Dean. All I need you to do is get the rest of your clothes off, and sit back in the passenger seat. Think you can do that?”

Dean’s ragged breathing was answer enough, but fuck was it ever hot when Dean answered with a shaky, “Yeah. I can, uh, yeah. That.”

“Mmm. Good.” Castiel said darkly.

_Fuck his voice is sexy._

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“You should probably do that. Now.”

“Right!” Dean nodded while his hands scrambled frantically between them to undo his belt.

Castiel smirked and crawled over Dean to the driver’s side so Dean had room to get his pants off and get into position. Boots and socks were thrown into the backseat, followed shortly by pants and boxer briefs and then Dean was completely, gloriously, bare.

The glow of Dean’s arousal lit up the car in blue-white, and even though it was still pitch black to Dean, Castiel could see everything. And maybe that made it just a little bit hotter, because everyone was more confident when they thought they couldn’t be seen, and Dean was no exception. Castiel wanted him, badly. Dean’s body was perfect on display, long legs splayed wide, head tilted back while he tried to look at Castiel in the dark. Green eyes wide with desire and Castiel couldn’t wait to see them filled with pleasure.

“You gonna come over here some time tonight, or just stare at me in the dark?” Dean asked, voice full of need.

Castiel chuckled low and the sound tripped down Dean’s back like a physical touch, his cock twitched in reaction, shiny precome leaked from his slit and that, well that kicked Castiel into gear because he just _had_ to taste it.

There was no graceful way to get to where he wanted, but Castiel managed to arrange himself so that he was kneeling on the floorboards in between Dean’s spread legs. It was a little awkward, cramped, but he made it work. Brought his hands up to slide from Dean’s knees all the way up his thighs until he could rub the crease of Dean’s legs with his thumbs.

Dean’s hips jumped erratically at the firm touch, a puff of air just short of a groan forced out of his lungs. Castiel followed the trail his thumbs had taken with his tongue, licked a path up one leg and then pressed a hot, teasing, open mouthed, kiss to the crease of his thigh. Sucked a bruise there and all the while Dean let out these little noises that made the pressure of Castiel’s pants nearly unbearable, but fuck it was addictive.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean sighed when Castiel did the same damn thing to his other leg, shook when Castiel sucked harder in reply, spikes of pleasure pierced him, burned like little sun flares under his skin.

Desperately hard, a trickle of precome slid down Dean’s cock. Castiel’s mouth felt so good, so fucking hot and plush and when his teeth closed just hard enough to hurt it sent a bolt of pleasure-pain right to his dick. Dean knew he’d feel it tomorrow; the thought of it slammed Dean’s arousal into overdrive.

Castiel smiled wickedly against Dean’s skin when Dean’s hands found their way into his hair, tried to tug him up where he wanted him. On principle, Castiel wanted to resist, just to make sure Dean knew exactly who was calling the shots, but Dean’s cock was shiny-wet, swollen and red, looked so fucking good that Castiel couldn’t have stopped himself anyway. Didn’t bother to try.

The burst of elation Dean felt when Castiel licked a scorching, slow path from the base of his cock to the tip before his lips wrapped around the head of it bled more white-hot energy from Dean intoxicatingly into Castiel. Inch by slick, searing, inch, Castiel sucked Dean’s cock down until his nose brushed the wiry hair around the base of it.

A strangled sound wrenched out of Dean’s throat, “Holy fucking shit, Cas.”

Fuck, it felt so good, so hot, wet, tight, and then Castiel pulled back until he had just the tip in his mouth again, swirled and rolled his tongue over the head, flicked along the sensitive underside. _Jesus,_ Castiel sucked cock like he was fucking paid to do it, and paid damn well too. He hollowed his cheeks and slid back down over Dean’s length again and again and again right up until Dean tensed, so close to coming.

Words Dean didn’t even know he was saying spilled from his lips, too far gone to care, “So good. Fuck, Cas. _God,_ your mouth. Fuck.”

Castiel had always loved the feeling of a hard cock pushing into his throat, fucking it raw, but this, fucking hell, this was so damn good it couldn’t possibly be real. He had to palm the front of his pants because he needed some sort of relief and even that little bit of friction felt goddamn phenomenal.

Dean was a mess, Castiel could feel his body tightening, thigh muscles clenched beneath Castiel’s hands, but he wasn’t done with Dean. Not yet. Not even close, so he popped off and Dean let out a frustrated grunt at the loss.

“Can’t come yet, Dean. We haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.” Castiel said, voice fuck-roughened and _oh my god_ that was hot.

“Cas.” Dean said, didn’t whine.

It wasn’t a whine even if Castiel smirked like it was. From his pants pocket, Castiel pulled out a sample sized packet of Astroglide and Dean bit his lip. Of course Castiel had pocket lube. Hadn’t Dean suspected as much earlier?  

“So, we can do this one of two ways, Dean. And it’s up to you to choose, because me, I’ll be happy either way.” Castiel proposed. “I fuck you with my fingers while I suck your dick until you come hot and hard down my throat. Or, we can fulfill that little fantasy you just shared and I can lick you open, use my tongue to fuck your ass. I’ll even be generous and let you touch your cock while I do it. Just this once.”

Dean shivered, and it wasn’t with cold. Both of those sounded fucking amazing. And why the fuck was it so hot that Castiel apparently thought he could decide whether or not Dean touched his own dick? Damn if Dean didn’t like it though.

Castiel watched the indecision on Dean’s face, didn’t know where the possessive urge to dominate Dean was coming from, but Dean very clearly enjoyed it, “Better choose quick before I decide for you.”

Dean’s cheeks flushed but he blurted out his answer, “Fuck my ass with your tongue. Um. Please?”  

Castiel grinned, immensely pleased; really, really liked the fact that he was about to get the chance to taste Dean _everywhere_. There was that weirdly possessive urge flaring up again, just this side of frightening. Like something in Castiel wanted to _keep_ Dean. Which wasn't something he was okay with.

If Dean wanted to fuck, wanted to be friends, then great, but Castiel didn’t know how to do or be more than that. Whatever this strange urge to claim was, Castiel needed to get it under control, so he shoved it out of his mind and focused on blowing Dean’s instead. Since he wouldn't need the lube, Castiel shoved it back into his pocket for next time. Not that he really needed it, but it kept people from asking questions like, wow, where'd you get lube?

“Why don’t you turn around on the seat, on your knees? Angle yourself over the back a little.” Castiel instructed until Dean was in just the right position; tilted forward, ass pushed up just slightly at the perfect damn height.

Dean’s ass was fucking fantastic, round and tight and Castiel cupped each cheek, squeezed before he used his thumbs to spread them, fingers dug in on the sides. The pink pucker of his hole just begged to be fucked and Castiel couldn’t wait to get his mouth on it.

“Ever been tongue fucked before, Dean?” Castiel asked conversationally as he rubbed his thumbs over the perfect furled skin; Dean gasped and rocked back into the touch, shook his head. “Thought about it alot though?” Dean nodded, overwhelmed. “Don’t worry. I’m awesome at this. You’ll like it.”

Wasn’t even bragging, because he was, and Dean would. Castiel had zero doubts about that.

“Pretty sure I’d, uh, like anything you did to me right about now.” Dean confessed, and damn if that didn’t make warmth flutter in Castiel’s chest.

Something purple-tinged swirling through the energy that licked from around Dean’s soul caught Castiel’s eye just before it was absorbed by his grace. Castiel didn’t have time to question it, too caught up in the way Dean wriggled his hips impatiently when Castiel’s thumbs skated softly over his hole again.

Slowly, Castiel ran his tongue, slick and wet and hot around Dean’s hole. Long, firm strokes over and over until Dean panted and moaned with every brush of it. Then he licked his way in, flickered his tongue inside Dean and pulled out every trick he knew. The musky taste of Dean filled his mouth and Castiel’s thinly held control strained precariously.

“Cas, fuck, feels so, ah, so good. You’re so good.” Dean babbled an endless stream of praise, felt so goddamn awesome, pleasure prickled along every one of his nerves and he didn’t know how he hadn’t come yet, because it was that damn good.

Unable to take the pressure of his pants anymore, Castiel dropped a hand to free his cock. The cold air of the car on his overheated, sensitive skin made him hiss out a breath and Dean moaned loud, his hips rolled back, and Castiel speared his tongue as deep as he could into Dean. Spit-slick and sloppy, Dean’s hole easily gave way. Blood buzzed in Dean’s ears, he was completely lost to anything beyond the sensations Castiel gave him.

Steadily, the light around Dean pulsed brighter and writhed in time with Castiel’s tongue as it fucked into him. The sounds Dean made then were soft and needy, mixed with hot little grunts and Castiel had to wrap a hand around his own cock, needed the relief because how could anyone be expected to hold off when Dean was moaning out their name like a porn star?

Castiel adjusted his hand on Dean’s ass so he could press his thumb inside along with his tongue and Dean arched back into it, like he needed more, needed him deeper. Castiel jerked his own cock greedily, unconsciously matching the speed of his tongue as it pushed into Dean. Obscenely slick sounds filled the car, indistinguishable and debauched.

So close, _fuck,_ Dean was so close again, just needed a little _more_ , needed something _extra_ to help tip him over. Castiel’s tongue was fucking incredible, should have a fucking monument built in it’s goddamn honor. Dean’s cock pulsed when he fisted it and and his hips stuttered as he fucked into his hand with little thrusts that brushed the tip against the smooth leather of the seat. Left a wet streak of precome dripping down it.

Castiel groaned low in his throat when Dean tensed up, could feel how close he was through the way his body went rigid and his breath caught in his throat. So fucking hot, Castiel wished he could see Dean touching himself, wished he could watch when Dean came all over the seat.

“So close, Cas. Don’t- Don’t stop. Please, please. Fuck, I’m gonna-” Dean begged while everything focused on Castiel’s tongue inside him, his thumb roughly pushing in too, the slight burn that accompanied it and his own hand as it stripped his cock. “Gonna come.”

Castiel swirled his tongue just right and Dean came so hard that bright spots shimmered in his vision. Spurts of hot white come splashed onto the leather seat, spilled over his hand while pleasure, intense and red-hot exploded in him.

Flares of pleasure from Dean’s orgasm released blinding blue-white energy that slammed into Castiel, left him breathless as he sped up his strokes. Dean whined his name, over-sensitive and too hot and that was all Castiel needed.

His climax hit him swift and fierce, come splattered his jacket and the seat while euphoria whited everything out for blissfully long moments. When Castiel finally came down, he found himself slumped back on his heels, head resting uncomfortably back against the glovebox. 

Dean must’ve turned himself back around when Castiel had his eyes closed, because he was facing him again, legs spread on either side of him and his softening cock rested against his thigh. Ridiculously, another pang of hunger caught Castiel’s attention but he pushed it to the side. Castiel wondered if Dean had bothered to wipe the seat down first, and then wondered exactly how long those moments he’d been floating had been.

“Back yet?” Dean asked as he reached down to tug Castiel up into his lap, rested his hands on Castiel’s hips to balance him as Castiel settled with a knee on either side of him.

“How long was I out?” Castiel wondered aloud while he tucked himself back into his pants and zipped up.

“Just a minute. I wiped the seat off with my shirt, figured you’d get up when I turned around, but you were pretty out of it. I was gonna get you up if you didn’t come to soon.” Dean said with a small smirk as he used said shirt to wipe down the front of Castiel’s jacket. Kinda regretted having to do it because the red leather looked damn hot with streaks of white come across it. “Woulda got you up right away, but weird angle, and thought I’d give you a sec to recover.”

“Hmm, well, I’m fine.” Castiel assured him, even if it was unusual for him to be unresponsive after an orgasm. Could’ve been anything, right? Maybe the awkward angle, or how hard he’d come. Probably wasn’t anything to worry about. “And I was right. You do taste fucking perfect.”

“Yeah, well, anytime you wanna do it again, I’m all for it.” Dean said with a laugh.

“I bet you would be.” Castiel agreed, eyes crinkled with amusement.

An unfamiliar warmth filled Castiel again when Dean cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a lingering kiss. Wanted to stay there, just like that as long as they could, even if it was getting cold, and Dean’s sweat-damp skin probably made it that much chillier for him.

Dean slid his tongue into Castiel’s mouth and it felt important, felt like more than a kiss. Scary as hell, but so good that Castiel didn’t want it to end. Eventually though, even with Castiel draped over him, Dean couldn’t keep from shivering and Castiel insisted that he get dressed again.

“Besides, it’s getting late.” Castiel said reasonably. “We have school tomorrow.”

“Fucking school.” Dean agreed with a sigh, before he kissed Castiel again, just one more time. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so excited to post this chapter, plot-wise things are about to pick up speed after this chapter, which is really exciting for me as a writer. :D The next few chapters will answer a lot of questions I've gotten about Cas. Also exciting. XD 
> 
> That said, this is probably my last update until after the holidays (never say never, but I'm gonna be pretty swamped with family stuff). 
> 
> However, I have something really awesome planned for tomorrow over on tumblr [@daydreamdestiel](http://daydreamdestiel.tumblr.com) that you're totally gonna wanna see. So if you're not following me, you should. ;) I have a day full of one-shots from follower prompts planned and scheduled to post throughout the day tomorrow. Lots of smutty/fluffy xmas eve fun. And Cheerleader!Dean. Did I mention that yet? No? Yeah.
> 
> As usual a big thanks to [@Brenna_Fae](http://spnbrennafae.tumblr.com) for her help. <3<3<3
> 
> And thanks to all of the amazing people who have read and commented on this fic and those that read and commented on You Gotta Come Home With Me as well. You totally make this worth it and you motivate me more than you know. 
> 
> Happy Holidays. <3

Friday morning rolled around, and by then Castiel had pretty much settled into a routine, both at Gabriel's and at school. Breakfast with Gabriel, school, classes, lunch with Dean, Charlie (turned out Dean and Charlie had been friends before he got there, which worked out awesome for Castiel), and their friends, more classes, home to Gabriel’s again.

Gabriel had been making an effort to draw Castiel out of his room in the evenings. It was a weird combination of sweet and irritating that Castiel wasn’t sure how he felt about. Family dinners were suddenly a thing he was expected to participate in when he’d never had to before. Felt a little surreal at first, but slowly he found himself coming to enjoy them.

That morning Gabriel had surprised him with a mound of belgian waffles covered in icing sugar and fruit, sausages still sizzled on the plate when he made his way down after his morning shower. Castiel raised an eyebrow in question but Gabriel just shrugged and offered him a weak smile.

“What’s going on?” Castiel asked warily.

Gabriel held his hands up defensively, “What d’you mean, what’s going on? Nothing’s going on. A guy can’t make his little brother a healthy, delicious breakfast before school?”

Yeah, no, that wasn’t suspicious at all, “Gabe… Did you put something in the waffles?”

“What? _No!_ Jeez, I’m not _twelve,_ Cassie.” Gabriel grinned for a minute before he sobered. “Just, you’ve been here a week, and I dunno, I thought you might need some cheering up.”

Castiel frowned at his plate, he’d been there a week already. It seemed so much longer than that.

“I’m fine.” Castiel said automatically, focused on cutting his waffles into bite-sized pieces instead of having to look up at Gabriel.

“Yeah, sure. Just thought I’d check in.” Gabriel said easily. “How’s school going? Any friends? Dates planned?” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows at that last one. “Hot teachers?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh before he answered, “Good, yes, no, no.”

“Shame about the last two. Hey listen, I’m heading into Kansas City tomorrow night, for, well, ya know. If you wanna tag along you could wander off on your own and find someone to feed with.” Gabriel suggested despite the way Castiel’s nose wrinkled with distaste.

“I’m good, thanks.” Castiel replied before he stuffed a large bite of waffles and fruit in his mouth.

“Ya gotta feed, Cas. I know mom’s got you convinced it’s wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a basic necessity for you.” Gabriel argued, paused in his rant when Castiel flushed. “Aaand you’ve already fed since you’ve been here, haven’t you?”

Castiel determinedly shoveled more food in his mouth, eyes anywhere but on Gabriel as he nodded.

“Well this breakfast got a lot more awkward than it was supposed to.” Gabriel mused. “Do I need to give you the whole safe sex talk?”

Castiel rolled his eyes again, begged for anyone listening to put him out of his misery and when that didn’t happen he finally answered, “No, for fuck’s sake, Gabe, no.”

“‘Cause you know, no glove no love isn’t just a slogan. Don’t want any little quarter incubuses running around.” Gabriel said with a way-too-pleased smile.

“Not gonna be an issue, Gabe.” Castiel said, tried to shovel as much food in his mouth as he could so he could just get up from the table and go the hell to school already. Pretend this never happened and try not to ever relive it. “Hard to get a guy pregnant.”

“Huh, so, you just like guys?”

“What? No. Just, it was a guy- you know what, nevermind.” Castiel answered, then pushed his chair back as he stood up. “I’m gonna be late for-”

“Getting out of this conversation?”

“Yeah, that. So, I’ll see you later.”

“Have fun at school!” Gabriel called as Castiel retreated to the front door. He’d just pulled on his boots when Gabriel followed up with, “Try not to get caught fucking in the janitor’s closet. School administrations generally frown upon it!”

The rest of Castiel’s day more or less went as usual: parked next to Dean’s car, hung out before homeroom, classes. He hadn’t gone out with Dean again since that first day, though mid-lunch visits to the clearing for quick mutual orgasms had become habitual. Had rapidly begun to feel like more of a necessity than a conscious decision. 

Castiel wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that either. He liked Dean, enjoyed their budding friendship and yeah, Dean was hot as fucking hell. So there was that, but whenever they were together Castiel felt the urge to feed like an itch in the back of his mind. More often than he’d felt the need, honestly, ever. He’d had plenty of time to think about what he wanted from Dean, but still couldn’t figure it out.

Didn’t really get why his stomach flipped each morning when he parked his car and Dean was there with a smile for him, or why something warm spread through his chest whenever Dean laughed little too hard at something Castiel said.

The more Castiel learned about Dean, though, the more obvious it became that Castiel was definitely not good enough for him. Dean was smart, did well in his classes, was motivated. He’d already picked out the top five colleges he wanted to apply to, planned to do a B.A with a major in criminology and then get into law enforcement. Basically Dean was an all around good person, and Castiel, well, he was wrong, broken. Could never be the kind of person Dean needed in his life.

But even knowing that, Castiel couldn’t keep himself away from Dean if he tried. Was drawn to him like something out of a shitty teen romance movie. Which was dumb as fuck, and Castiel knew it, but it didn’t stop the weird conflicted longing he felt whenever he thought about Dean.

Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face and held back the urge to groan in frustration. Flinched when Dean jabbed him in the side with a finger.

“What’s up?” Dean asked curiously as he leaned his elbow on the cafeteria table and turned to face Castiel more fully.

Castiel shook his head, forced a small smile onto his face that he hoped was reassuring. Must not have succeeded because the next thing he knew, Dean had stood up and then tugged him up by the arm too.

“Catch ya later losers.” Dean said distractedly before he headed for the cafeteria doors, pulled Castiel after him by the sleeve of his hoodie.

Charlie smirked at them and Dorothy full out grinned as they offered waves. The other people at their table, caught up in their own conversations, didn’t really notice their earlier than usual departure.

It probably should’ve bothered Castiel more that he basically let Dean parade him down the hall, outside, all the way to their clearing. And _fuck,_ when had he started thinking of it as _their_ clearing? It was _Dean’s_ clearing.

“So, what’s going on?” Dean asked. “And don’t gimme that ‘I’m fine’ crap, might not’ve known you long but I know you well enough to tell something’s buggin’ you.”

Castiel panicked, grabbed the only other thing he could think of and blurted it out, “My brother tried to give me a sex talk this morning.”

Dean pressed his lips together like he was trying not to laugh, “Uh-huh. And?”

“And _Dean,_ it was awkward.” Castiel said indignantly with a shrug. “He told me not to get anyone pregnant.”

“Kinda hard to get a guy pregnant.” Dean smirked.

“That’s exactly what I fucking said.” Castiel said with a grin.

“Okay, so is, uh, is that what’s bugging you? You outed yourself?” Dean asked, brows furrowed, green eyes intent on Castiel.

“No, not really. I guess we hadn’t talked about it before, but he’s bi too, so, not a problem. I’m really okay. I was just wondering if I had more awkwardness to look forward to at supper.” Castiel said.

Dean grinned, “Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if I was your brother, I’d probably drop a pack of condoms on the table and then discuss how safe sex is important for _everyone._ Just to be a dick.”

A subject change was sorely needed, they’d spent way too much time revisiting his morning of mental trauma and scarring already, so Castiel stepped into Dean’s space, toyed with the waistband of Dean’s jeans, “If you were my brother then what I’m about to do to you would be highly inappropriate.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked with a lazy smile. “Whatcha gonna do to me, Cas?”

“Well, I thought,” Castiel leaned in closer until his lips nearly met Dean’s, “that I’d start by kissing you hard and follow that up with pushing you down onto your knees so that I could sink my cock into that hot fucking mouth of yours.”  

 _Holy shit,_  Dean thought, eyes widened, cheeks faintly pinked, “So, kiss me then.”

Just like that Castiel’s thumb pressed down on Dean’s lower lip and his tongue slid in hot and wet and so _good._ Dean melted into the kiss, body molded to Castiel’s, ran his hands from Castiel’s shoulder blades all the way down his back to cup his ass, pulled him closer and moaned when he felt their hardening cocks brush together.

 _Fuck,_ Dean tasted amazing, dark and sweet like sex and lust and heat, Castiel was lost the moment their lips touched. Loved the way Dean arched into him when Castiel rocked their hips together. Dragged his hand down from Dean’s jaw, over his neck, slipped inside Dean’s leather jacket, traced his collarbone while his other hand unzipped it and then dipped his hand lower to thumb over the peak of Dean’s nipple.

Dean panted into his mouth and Castiel swallowed each desperate gasp, kept up the steady rocking of his hips against Dean’s. Pleasure consumed them both and Castiel could _see_ it coming off Dean in waves of spiraling blue-white light. Tasted it heady and delicious on Dean’s lips, each flicker of Dean’s tongue against his brought it into sharper focus.

And then just as Dean’s body tensed against Castiel’s he gripped Dean’s hips with bruising force, stilled him and Dean whimpered into his mouth with hot little noises that begged Castiel not to stop.

Rough and hot against Dean’s lips, Castiel growled, “On your knees.”

Not even an ounce of hesitation, Dean dropped down, and fucking _hell_ that was hot. His hands scrambled at the button on Castiel’s jeans, popped it and unzipped him lightning quick. Yanked down on Castiel’s pants and boxer briefs until his cock bobbed free. Dean’s eyes tracked the movement, he licked his lips in an unconscious gesture that Castiel _deeply_ enjoyed.

God, Dean looked so fucking good like that; on his knees, cheeks flushed dark, lips kiss-swollen, parted, eyes dark. Green of them a bright contrast to the black of his wide pupils, locked on Castiel’s cock, dusting of freckles across his perfect cheekbones and nose.

Like something right out of a porno, Dean licked over the head of Castiel’s cock, swirled his tongue around it and never took his eyes off Castiel’s. Dean’s hand came up to grip the base, steadied it so that he could wrap his lips around it and suck it hotly in, all the way down and back up again. So teasingly slow that Castiel’s eyes fell closed for a moment with the pleasure of it.

Flashed open again when Dean threw himself into it, sped up his rhythm and _fuck,_ it was hot. Dean’s eyes had drifted closed, a look of total abandon on his face and the swirls of energy around him blazed white-hot. _Jesus,_ Dean fucking loved sucking cock. Castiel could _feel_ it, _see_ it, he could fucking _taste_ it.

“So hot, Dean.” Castiel groaned. “Look at you, _fuck,_ that mouth, those lips. Knew from the second I saw them they’d be so pretty wrapped around my cock. Like you were, ah, born for it.”

Dean’s eyes fluttered half-open, warm, hazy with want and something Castiel couldn’t decipher. There and gone, just like the little burst of purple Castiel was _sure_ he’d actually seen for a second there. Dean’s tongue dipped into Castiel’s slit, flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head of his cock and then he sank his mouth hot and wet over him again and again.

Slip-slide of lips and sensation combined with the slick dirty sound of it, drove Castiel higher fast. A sudden urge hit Castiel, and he needed to ask, “I, Dean, I wanna come on your gorgeous fucking face. See- _God,_ see you all marked up. Is that-Can I...”

Dean flicked his tongue into Castiel’s slit again just before he pulled off, voice shaky and thick with desire when he said, “ _Fuck, yeah.”_

Sat back on his heels and kept his lips parted, eyes hooded as Castiel fisted his own cock. Dean’s tongue darted out to trace the swollen pink skin of his lips and Castiel squeezed his cock tighter, sped up a little, so close, muscles strained. His other hand ran through Dean’s hair, curled up in the back of it and held him there. Not like Dean planned to go anywhere, anyway, but something about it made everything hotter.

Dean’s eyes closed like he was so focused on waiting to feel the hot spatter of Castiel’s come across his cheeks, over his lips that he couldn’t keep them open and _Jesus Christ,_ that was so _hot_.

“Fuck, _fuck_ , Dean!” Castiel groaned gutturally as he came, pleasure surged through him in violent splashes timed with the white spurts that he aimed onto Dean’s face.

Dean sucked in a tight breath at the first splash and sighed it out as a soft moan with the second. Felt so hot and filthy and turned on that he didn’t know what the hell to do with himself. Blinked his eyes open, looked up and just saw blue like the sky a half hour before dawn, dark and warm at the same time; full of promise.

Took another shuddering breath as Castiel’s thumb brushed through the puddle of come on his cheek. Span of a second and Dean’d been hauled to his feet, backed into that tree he was quickly coming to love and Castiel’s mouth and tongue moved hotly over his face, cleaned him up in the sexiest way he could’ve.

Fast, so fast, Castiel had Dean’s pants undone, down his thighs, boxer-briefs too and his fingers closed tight around Dean’s cock. Slick with precome, aching with need, pleasure fired from every nerve ending as Castiel stroked, steady and sure, and Dean breathed heavily, made little heated noises. Didn’t even try to hold back because he’d been on the edge with just Castiel’s cock in his mouth and the pressure of his own pants against his dick.

No way he could hold off with the goddamn perfect way Castiel jerked him, licked hot over his chin before he trailed up over Dean’s lower lip and slipped into his mouth. Salty and so fucking hot, the taste of Castiel’s come burst on Dean’s tongue.

Damn near addictive, was what Castiel was, so sexy he oughta be illegal. The things he could do with his tongue goddamn intoxicating, add that to the hand on Dean’s cock, and was it any surprise that his climax was building faster than it ever had?

“God, _Cas_ , fuck.” Dean whispered heatedly into Castiel’s mouth.  

“Love the little fucking noises you make.” Castiel whispered back. “So hot. Needy. Like you can’t get enough.”

Dean chuckled low, and the dark sound of it hit Castiel in the gut, had him half-hard again already, “Honestly, ah, feel like I- _fuck, Cas,_ can’t. Want you. So, fucking, bad.”

“C’mon, Dean.” Castiel breathed, let his free hand slide up under Dean’s jacket to tease at his nipple and pleasure shot straight from there to Dean’s dick. “Come for me. Show me.”

Dean gasped in a breath that sounded a lot like Castiel’s name, body stilled, frozen for just a moment before his hips twitched and he came so fucking hard. His own heartbeat pounded in his ears as ecstasy cascaded through him. Burned him inside out and left him raw and shaking, over-sensitive and wrung out.

Castiel didn’t even notice himself feeding, didn’t even feel the rush of energy that usually came with his partner’s orgasm. He was too busy watching Dean’s face. Fucking beautiful and wrecked and so hot.

For once, he didn’t pull away immediately, just let himself enjoy the feeling of Dean’s body against his and not even the cooling come that coated his hand and Dean’s shirt kept it from feeling warm and perfect. Dangerous.

It wasn’t until they’d cleaned up and put themselves back together decently enough that pretty soon they’d head back to school, that Castiel was able to pinpoint the exact reason it’d felt dangerous, risky, to stay close to Dean after.

“So, what’re you doing tomorrow night?” Dean asked warmly, unguarded.

Seemed innocent enough but started a flood of panic in Castiel. He didn’t do this, couldn’t. There were reasons, damn good ones why him and Dean would never work out. Weren’t even the same _species_ and even if they were, or if that didn’t matter, Dean was still too perfect for him.

“Dean,” Castiel said on a frustrated sigh, watched as shutters went up in Dean’s eyes and the warmth there dimmed a little and all it took was one word. _Hurt_ to look at, but Castiel forced himself to. “Listen, I like you, you’re a great friend. It’s just I don’t do this.” No, that didn’t come out right. Shit. “I shouldn’t have let you think this was something it isn’t. I’m not- I’d be a shitty boyfriend. Trust me.”

Dean raised one eyebrow, shrugged an indifferent shoulder, “Wow. Calm down, dude. Wasn’t proposing. I was just asking if you wanted to go to a party tomorrow night. But, uh, thanks, I guess. Good to know where we stand.”

Guilt twisted in Castiel’s stomach, tangled with other feelings Castiel didn’t want to look at too closely, “I’m sorry if I made you think that _this_ was that.”

Jesus, he couldn’t even use fucking words to explain himself clearly. Felt like shit, but Dean deserved to know.

“Cas, it’s _fine.”_ Dean protested, and Castiel almost believed him. “So you wanna go to the party or not? Charlie, Dorothy and everyone’ll be there.”

Reluctantly, against his better judgement, Castiel agreed to go. If only because he didn’t want to be stuck at home with Gabriel for another Saturday night of misery. Also known as boardgames and cheesy horror movies night. This was as good as an excuse as any to nip that little tradition in the bud. Had nothing at all to do with the fact that he wanted to spend more time with Dean. At least that's what Castiel told himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no update! So sorry. I'm working on a Dean/Cas/Jimmy fic for the DCJ Big Bang with Brenna_Fae (already over 50,000 words, so woohoo XD ) and editing The Cellist, so I've been kinda pressed for time, but I promise this _will_ get written. It's all plotted out, and I love this story, so trust me, it's gonna get finished.  <3
> 
> That said as soon as this posts I'll be adding a tag for underage drinking just as a warning.

Ten o’clock on Saturday night, and Castiel stared into his dresser drawer, wondered what the fuck he should wear and why he was bothering. His options were pretty limited but he’d already settled on dark jeans and his red leather jacket. Reached in and grabbed a plain white t-shirt after an absurdly long time.

He tried not to think about the fact that he wanted to wear the red leather because he knew Dean liked it on him. Castiel wasn’t even sure if Dean was still interested in him. Things had been friendly, in a sort of muted way for the rest of the afternoon on Friday, but he didn’t think he’d imagined the flash of hurt on Dean’s face.

Guilt bubbled in his gut, but he pushed it down. It’d be better in the long run. Dean deserved someone special. Someone who could give him what he wanted. And Castiel just couldn’t. Which is why the sharp stab of hurt in his gut made no damn sense. He'd done what was best for Dean, best for him too, so what the fuck?

Frustrated, Castiel forced his attention back to dressing and got himself ready. On his way downstairs he took a quick trip to the bathroom to check his hair. He figured it looked decent enough so he called out a quick goodbye to Gabriel and ducked out the door before he had to listen to another safe sex talk.

The drive to the party was filled with quiet music and even quieter self-loathing. He really should’ve just stayed home. Dean probably didn’t even really want him there after the way Castiel’d treated him. So stupid, he should’ve said what he’d needed to say in a better way. There had to have been a less awkward way to put that. There _definitely_ was.

Or, a little dangerous part of him whispered, he could’ve just not said anything at all. Could’ve just tried with Dean. Maybe could’ve eventually told Dean what he was. Trusted him not to freak out. No, _that_ was fucking dumb. He barely knew Dean. It hadn’t even been a full week since they met, he couldn’t trust Dean with that. Couldn’t trust _anyone_ with that.

When Castiel neared the address Dean had texted him, he slowed and then parked at the back of a long row of cars. Looked like the party was already in full swing, and on the walk up to the pale blue two level house, Castiel spotted Dean’s car.

His stomach twisted nervously but he shoved it down until it'd mostly dissolved and walked up to knock on the door. A boy with a wide smile that Castiel vaguely recognized from school opened the door and let him in. He wandered into the kitchen and found Charlie, who grinned when she saw him and mixed him up a rum and coke in a red solo cup. She pressed it into his hand with a wink.

“Dean said you were coming, but I didn’t think you would.” Charlie leaned in to say over the loud music.

“Yeah, I didn’t really know if I should.” Castiel admitted.

“Of course you _should!”_ Charlie replied. “I just figured it might’ve been overwhelming for a new kid on his first week here.”

Castiel shrugged a shoulder, and his eyes scanned the room for Dean as he spoke, “Been to my share of parties, I’m not intimidated. I just didn’t know if Dean wanted to see me.”

Charlie’s drunk-hazy eyes widened, “Wait, what happened with Dean? We all thought you guys were totally happily boning.”

Castiel bit his lip, and wondered what he was supposed to say. It wasn’t his place to talk to Charlie about any of this, she’d been Dean’s friend first even if he’d met her independently of Dean. But… but Castiel didn’t have anyone else to confide in, so he angled himself to face her more and replied, “Yeah, but I uh, kinda told him I’m not looking for a relationship. I’ve never- I don’t really _do_ them.”

“Wow.” Charlie said, brows raised. “How’d he take that?”

“Well, I guess.” Castiel said, “I just wish I’d been more tactful.”

Charlie shot him a lopsided smile that didn’t look the least bit like she believed him, “Really? That’s what you’re all-” she flapped a hand at him, “over?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” Charlie said disbelievingly, before she changed the subject. “So how do you think you did on the math quiz?”

Almost an hour later, Castiel realized he still hadn’t seen Dean, excused himself to the washroom and kept an eye out for him on his way. Tons of people crowded the living room and the stairs, but there was still no sign of him, so Castiel used the washroom and just as he opened the door he caught sight of Dean. Some pretty blonde girl with her hand in his was leading him up the stairs and down the hall, any second now Dean would pass right by him.

It was fairly obvious exactly what was happening from the sway of her hips and the satisfied little smirk on her face, and Castiel had _no_ damn right to be jealous but he _was._ Practically burned with it and all he wanted to do was step out into the hall and drag Dean away from her, but he couldn’t. He just froze, Dean’s eyes flicked up to his a second before he would’ve passed obliviously by and Castiel watched a flash of shock and guilt pass through them.

Something sharp and hot stabbed into Castiel’s chest and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. What the fuck was _wrong_ with him. He’d basically told Dean he didn’t wanna date him, and now he was feeling territorial. A messed up jumble of anger, and agony splashed uncontrolled across Castiel’s face, and suddenly he wasn’t frozen anymore.

He pushed past Dean, and ignored the way he shouted after him, stormed out the front door and was halfway to his car before he realized Dean was drunkenly stumbling after him. Everything _hurt_ and it was so _unreasonable._ It didn’t make any goddamn sense and it just _was._ Angry at himself, pissed the fuck off at Dean even though he shouldn’t be because he _knew_ Dean hadn’t done anything wrong, Castiel spun around and faced him.

“Something you _want_ from me, Dean? Looked like you were pretty busy to me. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m sure if you go back upstairs, she’d  _love_ to get right back to it.” Castiel said frostily.

Dean gaped at him for a second while his brain tried to catch up to what the hell was happening, “I- You… you said you didn’t… Are you pissed at me?”

“No. Yes! I don’t _know,_ okay?” Castiel swung his arms out to the wide to illustrate his point.

With an angry little shake of his head, Dean glared at him and stepped closer, “What the _fuck,_ Cas! You’re the one who said you didn’t _want_ me. And- and _now_ you’re pissed that I was gonna hook up with someone else?”

“I didn’t- I _never_ said I didn’t want you.” Castiel exclaimed, irritated. “I said I didn’t _do_ relationships because I _don’t._ I’ve never- Dean, don’t think for a second I _don’t want you._ The _only_ thing I want is _you._ ”

Harsh breathing was the only sound for a while, other than the noise from the party that filtered out into the street. The two of them stared at each other, and Castiel didn’t have a goddamn clue what was happening, but he needed to fucking fix it before the sucking wound in his chest swallowed him whole.

“I’m not angry at you. I’m… I dunno, pissed at myself for fucking things up with you.” Castiel admitted, shoulders hunched, and arms wrapped around his waist, “I clearly wasn’t prepared to see you with someone else, but… I don’t even know _how_ to be in a relationship. I don’t- I don’t know if I can be what you _want._ ”

Dean blinked, wide-eyed at Castiel’s confession. Drunk, but not so out of it that he couldn’t figure out what was going on. Castiel was scared. That much was clear as goddamn day, but Dean wasn’t. Not even a little, though some part of him thought he should be. Because it’d only been a week, and yet, when Bela had led him up those stairs, even before he’d seen Castiel, he’d known he wasn’t gonna sleep with her. Couldn’t.

“I want _you,_ moron.” Dean said with an annoyed roll of his eyes. “How ‘bout this? For now, we’ll just say I’m not gonna sleep with anyone else… and- and you don’t either? I don’t want anyone else anyway, Cas.”

Nervously, Castiel chewed on his bottom lip as he considered Dean’s offer, the knot in his stomach eased a bit, and he nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Dean’s lips twitched up into a smile, and Castiel’s echoed it as Dean closed the distance between them. Slid his hands up the front of Castiel’s shirt, over his neck and rubbed his thumbs over Castiel’s jaw before they settled in his hair and pulled him into a kiss.

Hot and slick, Dean’s tongue pressed inside of Castiel’s mouth and he met it with a brush of his own. Slow in contrast to the volatility of the conversation they’d just had, Dean kissed him like he _meant_ it.

“Wanna come sleep at my house?” Dean breathed, so sexy into Castiel’s mouth.

A little burst of anxiety bloomed in Castiel’s chest, but he pushed it down, “Okay.”

It became rapidly clear on the walk to Castiel’s car that Dean was definitely inebriated, so after they snuck up to Dean’s room, he kept things light between them. Just soft kisses and touches that Castiel didn’t let turn heated until they ended up tangled together in Dean’s bed, half-asleep while they traded occasional lazy kisses.

There was something warm in Castiel’s chest that flared brighter with every pass of their lips, and he knew _for sure_ that the purple stuff wasn’t his imagination because there was a hell of a lot of it passing between them right then. He sleepily thought that he should probably ask Gabriel about it, but by the time they drifted off to sleep it was a distant concern. Too warm and comfortable with Dean wrapped all around him.  


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers! I hope you enjoy this week's update. <3

A few weeks went by basically the same as the last one had gone, only Dean and Castiel spent time together after school more often than not. And it wasn’t just sex either, they hung out most afternoons at Dean’s place while his mom took his brother to all his extracurricular activities. And sure, a lot of the time it ended up with them at least making out, but Castiel really wasn’t gonna complain about that.

Every time Castiel left Dean’s and headed home, he planned to ask Gabriel about the purple stuff, but each time something stopped him. At first, it’d been because he kept forgetting, but the more he was with Dean, the more the purple stuff became impossible to ignore.

The protectiveness he felt about whatever was happening between him and Dean only compounded his desire to keep it a secret, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he’d started craving whatever the fuck the purple stuff was. That he was intentionally seeking out the types of interactions that led to more of it. Concern for Dean’s wellbeing overrode his own needs, and Castiel made up his mind as he walked through the front door of his house, that he’d ask Gabriel today.

“Hey, kiddo!” Gabriel called from the kitchen, “Hope you’re hungry, I just made tacos!”

They smelled awesome, but Castiel’s stomach was twisted up with nerves. He should’ve asked Gabriel the first damn time it’d happened. Should’ve stopped seeing Dean. Should’ve done _something._ Instead, he’d been selfish and now, well, now he didn’t know what the hell was happening, he just hoped Gabriel would have answers.

He walked into the kitchen and Gabriel glanced over at him, “Woah, what’s going on, Cassie? You look like someone kicked you in the guts. Wait. Did someone kick you in the guts? I’ll kick their ass. No one kicks my-”

“Gabe.” Castiel exasperatedly cut him off. “No one did anything to me. I’m fine. There’s just… There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Oh God.” Gabriel said, stricken. “You got someone pregnant.”

Castiel rubbed his forehead, already mentally exhausted, “For fuck’s sake, no.”

“Oh, well, then it’s not _that_ bad, whatever it is. Sit down and tell me about it.” Gabriel said more cheerfully.

Nervously, Castiel bit his lip, but did as Gabriel said and sat in one of the bar height chairs at the kitchen island. Rubbed his finger over the marble countertop and collected his thoughts before he spoke.

“So… There’s this guy. That I’ve been seeing. Sort of. And… there’s something, I dunno, weird going on.”

“Fuck.” Gabriel muttered under his breath before he looked back up at Castiel apologetically, “Guess I’m already sucking at this parenting thing, huh? I knew you were happy, I just… I guess I thought it was ‘cause you were settling in here. Had some friends. I didn’t… Shouldn’t be that much of a surprise though…”

“Gabe?” Castiel asked curiously when Gabriel trailed off.

Awkwardly, Gabriel shifted, a pained expression crossed his face momentarily before it went purposefully blank.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re seeing purple stuff, right?”

“How did you-”

“‘Cause I did too. Long time ago. Right after I got- after I left home.” Gabriel’s eyes focused on a spot over Castiel’s shoulder while he spoke. “Kali took me in. She had a gorgeous vineyard, it’s actually where I learned how to do all this…” Gabriel gestured vaguely in the air, “We uh, got pretty into each other and that’s when I figured out what was going on. ‘Cause Kali wasn’t really a one man kinda gal. So when she stopped seeing other people and I did too, I kinda put two and two together.”

Nausea burned in Castiel’s gut, “What… um, what is it?”

“It’s not what it _is,_ but what it _does._ It’s just emotional intimacy. It’s one of a handful of feelings we feed on. Problem is, it creates a sort of a feedback loop for both people. The more you feed, the more addictive it gets. The more you feel like you need to feed, and the more they want you to.”

A sick horror washed over Castiel as he processed Gabriel’s words; What if the only reason Dean wanted to be with him was because he was addicted to him? What if the only reason he wanted to be with Dean was because he was addicted to feeding on him. If- if that was taken out of the equation would either of them even be interested in each other? Would they even like each other as friends?

Part of Castiel thought that was ridiculous, because he liked spending time with Dean when he wasn’t feeding just as much as when he was, but he couldn’t deny the fact that they’d been having sex a lot more frequently than Castiel ever had before. Couldn’t deny the fact that the purple stuff _was_ addictive and wasn’t that why he’d brought it up to Gabriel in the first place?

“How… How do I…” Castiel tried to make himself make sense, but he couldn’t.

“You gotta make yourself stop. It’s hard as hell, but you gotta leave him alone. I was pretty gutted for a while after Kali, but.. But she was better off, only took her a few days to get back to normal and that’s what’s important. And after a bit, I was okay too.” Gabriel said earnestly.

“But how did you know if your feelings… or hers… were real or not?” Castiel said, distressed. “How am I supposed to…”

Gabriel shook his head a little and forced his eyes back to Castiel’s, “I don’t have the answer to that one. Wish I did, kid. I thought a lot about whether it was all hormones and feeding or if it was real at all, and I just can’t make heads or tails of it. Not a lot of experts out there on half-unseelie, ya know.”

Absently, Castiel nodded, before he pushed back from the table, “I’m um, I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll stick this in the fridge in case you get hungry later, k?”

“Okay.” Castiel said numbly.

Up in his room, he laid down on his bed and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do. If he’d just left things that first week, if he’d just stuck with his gut feeling it wouldn’t hurt so goddamn bad right now. Like his chest was ripped open, blood hemorrhaging all over the fucking place. Equal parts guilt and misery, he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to tell Dean, but he couldn’t pretend like he didn’t know this.

The right thing, the _good_ thing to do would be to _tell_ Dean everything. Give him all the information Castiel had and let the chips fall wherever, but he _wasn’t_ good. And he _couldn’t_ tell Dean. Not without putting himself and Gabriel at risk. He’d have to admit to being Fae, and that didn’t ever tend to go well.

Seelie might generally be safe revealing themselves to humans, but unseelie definitely weren’t. Unseelie hunters existed for a damn good reason, trained by the seelie court long ago to hunt unseelie threats to humans as well as seelie. And sure, Castiel might not be full unseelie, but there was no way for him to know if an unseelie hunter would be able to tell the difference. For all he knew they’d kill him on sight and not spare a moment’s thought for whether he’d ever harmed anyone. 

On top of that, he wasn’t just inhuman, he was a freak. He didn’t wanna find out that Dean was disgusted by him. Didn’t know if he could handle that.

That night he slept fitfully and when he woke up he still had no idea what he was gonna say to Dean when he saw him.

At school, Dean was waiting by his car for Castiel to get there, which was routine by then. Castiel’s heart skipped a little bit in his chest, because, God, Dean looked so damn good in the morning. Still sleepy-soft with a hint of a five o’clock shadow because he hadn’t bothered to shave. Eyes lit up in the morning sunlight, and just so perfect. Wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, drag him back to their field despite the chill in the air and spend all damn morning making him feel good.

That wasn’t gonna happen though, _couldn’t_ happen. Not ever again, and Castiel’s stomach dropped right down to his shoes. Hadn’t he always known he couldn’t have Dean? Hadn’t he always known he wasn’t good enough for him? Didn’t stop the ache in his chest though at the thought of wiping that warm affectionate look off of Dean’s face.

Because Castiel had absolutely no delusions that this would be painful for Dean too. Not just getting over the addiction to Castiel, but emotionally. He knew Dean liked him, or thought he did. And there was no way Dean would understand _why_ Castiel had suddenly changed his mind about them. It’d been weeks.

Uneasily, Castiel tried to smile at him, probably ended up a little stiff because Dean’s eyebrows shot up in question, but Castiel just shrugged a shoulder. He couldn’t make himself do it then. Just… just one more day with Dean. He’d find some excuse to be busy at lunch, but he just really needed one more day with him.

They walked into the school together and split up to go their lockers, met back up for homeroom and Castiel tried to act normal, tried to savor every last moment, but the clock was ticking and time was running out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where I start earning the angst with a happy ending tag. <3 Shit's about to get dark for a bit, but remember, these guys are gonna get their happy ending. <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me updating within a week. XD Thanks for all the awesome feedback you guys have been leaving. It's totally what motivates me to keep going. And I <3 you.

The last bell of the day rang and Castiel’s anxiety crept steadily higher as he packed up his backpack. Kept his eyes on his stuff, and tried not to look repeatedly over at Dean where he sat next to him. Didn’t hear a single word Mr. Walker was saying, too consumed with his own thoughts to pay attention to their Chemistry teacher.

As they walked out of the classroom, Castiel just behind Dean, he caught just a flash of a weird look on Mr. Walker’s face, but it was gone and replaced by a neutral smile before Castiel could read it.

They headed down the hall, and Castiel took a deep breath as he stopped at his locker, twisted the dial on his combination lock and opened the door. He didn’t wanna do this, but he had to. Dean needed him to whether he knew it or not. Just as he steeled himself to go collect Dean and ask to speak with him privately, a warm dainty hand closed on his shoulder.

Castiel’s head quirked to the side when he turned and saw Mrs. Winchester standing behind him, a tight smile on her face, “Hi Castiel, I was wondering if you could come to my classroom? We need to talk about some stuff.”

Worry tightened Castiel’s chest, what could she possibly need to tell him? But… it was also an easy out on talking to Dean today and that was extremely tempting.

“Um, yeah, sure.” Castiel said uncertainly, then waved at Dean before he followed Mrs. Winchester back down the hall.

Once they were inside the classroom, Mrs. Winchester closed the door behind them, flipped the lock and stood in front of it. Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What- What are you doing?” He asked, voice a hell of a lot steadier than he felt.

Mrs. Winchester let out a frustrated sigh, ran a hand through her hair before she answered and looked so much like Dean for a second that Castiel’s chest ached again, “Barely know myself. It’s been a hell of a long time since I hunted anything, to be honest.”

“Since you- oh.” Castiel’s face must’ve shown his distress, because Mrs. Winchester smiled faintly at him.

“Yeah, my family’s been hunting unseelie for as far back as we can trace. I know what you are Castiel. It’s weak but I can sense it. You’re some kinda unseelie. What I don’t get though, is what you’re up to? At first I wasn’t sure of what I felt. Like I said, it’s been a long time, but I _know_ there’s something off about you. And whatever you’re doing, it has something to do with my son.” She said and suddenly looked fiercely protective, extremely terrifying, “And you’re gonna tell me what it is.”

Shocked, Castiel’s lips parted, what… what was he supposed to do? What _could_ he do? His only option was to tell her the truth and hope like hell she believed him.

“I’m… I’m half-unseelie, half-seelie. It’s probably why you only sensed me weakly.” Castiel said, wrapped his arms around his waist while he spilled secrets he’d never told anyone before.

“I didn’t even know that was _possible.”_ Mrs. Winchester breathed, and then refocused her attention. “Don’t know if makes a difference though. Unseelie hurt people, and if you’re… If you-”

“I swear to you, I’ve never hurt anyone. I don’t kill to feed. It’s- I’m _not_ like that.” Castiel said forcefully because he needed her to believe that.

He might not _like_ what he was, but he _wasn’t_ dangerous, and he really didn’t wanna fucking die in a classroom today. Didn’t want her to hunt Gabriel down when she was done with him. The only hope he had was to make her believe.

Nervously, Castiel wet his lips, “You think… If I was dangerous, Dean would be dead. The fact he’s walking around right now, fine, is a testament to the fact that I don’t hurt anyone.”

Mrs. Winchester frowned, “What kind of unseelie are you?”

Castiel flinched, then squared his shoulders, “Incubus. Half-incubus. And you probably don’t wanna hear it, but Dean and I, well, yeah. I don’t use compulsion either, it was his choice. If I was full, he’d be dead. I’m _not_ though. And I… I really _care_ about him. Enough that I was planning to break up with him this afternoon, because I _know_ he deserves better, even if he won’t admit it.”

Uncomfortably, Castiel shifted, and looked at the floor for the next part, because it might be a bad idea to tell the person who held his fate in her hands this, but someone needed to understand what Dean was about to go through, and Mrs. Winchester would be able to help him deal with it.

“He… he doesn’t know what I am.” Castiel admitted quietly, “I didn’t plan to… I’ve never… But it happened and we’ve been together for a while. I just, um, found out that it’s possible I’m addicted to him, and that he… might be addicted to me in turn. I had no idea that was even a thing. That’s why I need to end things with him. Bad enough I’m a freak, but Dean deserves a _choice_ about who he’s with. If it’s just an addiction, he should be back to normal within a few days. It might be hard on him for those days, but he’ll be okay. Even… even if it’s not, he’s better off without me.”

Pity warred with concern on her face, Castiel could tell she believed him. He just didn’t know if it would be enough to convince her.

“I’m not, um, saying I trust you.” She finally said, “But you’re right. If you were a real threat I would’ve sensed you sooner… More clearly… I’m not gonna lie, I’m not happy that you fed on my son at all. Really wish I could scrub _that_ right out of my memory. I… I think you’re doing the right thing though, about Dean. I appreciate how hard this must be.”

His eyes stayed glued to his feet when he replied, “I don’t matter, Dean does. If you let me go I promise I’ll tell him it’s over. I’ll stay away from him.”

A moment of silence passed where Castiel’s heart beat wild and out of control in his chest. He fought to stay still, not to do anything that might set her off and then, “Alright. I’ll be keeping an eye on you though. But, keep your distance from Dean, don’t hurt anyone… and we won’t have a problem.”

Relief and crushing agony both flooded Castiel at the same time. Made his head swim and his chest clench but he nodded, his eyes on Mrs. Winchester again while she unlocked the door and opened it.

“You can go. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Suspiciously, Castiel walked past her. Made himself as small and non-threatening as he could just in case, then quickly headed to the front doors and rushed out. He walked down the front steps and sucked in his first full breath of air since he’d followed her into the classroom.

Didn’t even have time to fully catch his breath before he heard Dean call out to him from across the parking lot. He’d waited. _Fuck._ Castiel wasn’t ready for this. Didn’t wanna have to do this at all. Why the hell couldn’t he be _normal?_ Why couldn’t he be _good?_ What had he _ever_ done to deserve this? It wasn’t fair.

Castiel walked over to where Dean was leaned up against the passenger side of his car, tried not to look at the concern on his face when he stopped in front of him.

“Hi, Dean.” He said woodenly.

Something was wrong with Castiel, Dean saw it right away, and a pit formed in his stomach. Almost didn’t wanna question it because nothing good ever came from someone with that expression on their face. But…

“Cas, what was that about? What’d mom want?” Dean asked, curiosity and worry in his voice.

“Just, um, something about my last school.” Castiel lied and hoped it was convincing. “Doesn’t matter. We need to talk.”

Instantly, Dean’s eyes were guarded, his face blank, “Yeah? ‘Bout what?”

“We shouldn’t… I can’t…” Castiel tried but his voice broke. He cleared his throat and ignored the way the lump in it didn’t budge at all. “I’m sorry. We can’t.”

Not again. Dean couldn’t fucking do this again. He thought they’d moved past Castiel’s second-guessing. He’d thought they’d made progress. They spent practically every day with each other for fuck’s sake. He was… Fuck, he was pretty sure he was falling in love with him. And now- now Castiel was gonna tear it all down, and all Dean could think was, he had to stop it. Had to make Castiel see that they were fine, they were _good._

“Are you- What did mom say?” Dean asked, the blank look on his face replaced with pain that stabbed at Castiel’s chest. Hurt worse than he’d ever anticipated it would. “‘Cause I don’t care, whatever she said. Even if it was something bad, I don’t give a flying fuck. I _know_ you Cas. I-I thought you wanted-”

“She didn’t say anything Dean. This has nothing to do with your mom. I’d planned to talk to you before, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you this wasn’t working out.”

If it’d hurt before, the look on Dean’s face right then was torture. Cut through Castiel and left him cold.

“But…” Dean said weakly as a hollowness filled his chest, despair, it felt like, “But I thought…”

God, the sadness, the confusion, in Dean’s voice made Castiel’s heart ache. He could see denial in Dean’s eyes, could see him mounting a counter argument and needed to stop it. Wasn’t sure he was strong enough to withstand the pleading in Dean’s face, so he looked away.

“I told you I don’t do this for a reason.” Castiel said harshly. “We gave it a shot. Didn’t work. I’m sorry if it hurts your _feelings_ but I’m just not that into you, Dean.”

Anger blossomed in Dean’s chest, made him feel way too hot in his skin, and he narrowed his eyes at Castiel, “You know what, fine. Whatever. I’m done. You don’t wanna be with me, then I’m not gonna keep asking. Do what you want, Cas.”

Dean pushed off from his car and walked around to the driver’s side. Got in and didn’t spare Castiel another glance before he peeled out of the parking lot. And all that Castiel felt as he watched him drive away was _lost._


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Two updates in two days? I'm kinda on a roll here, and plus I leave for Nashcon on Thursday, so I'm trying to get out a couple of chapters before I go. Fingers crossed I'll have more for you soon. <3<3<3

The next day Castiel didn’t go to school. He stayed home in bed and wallowed in his own misery. Couldn’t stop himself from replaying moments with Dean over and over in his head, and wanted so badly to see him. To apologize and kiss him and tell him he hadn’t meant it, but he couldn’t. So he kept telling himself Dean would be fine, Dean would be better off and that somehow they’d both get through this.

Not that it helped at all, because it didn’t whatsoever. But it kept him from giving in. Ever since he’d woken up that morning a mild headache had been building, compounded the ache in his chest and the empty coldness that’d seeped into him. Even with his blanket cocooned around him Castiel couldn’t get warm. Shaky and nauseous, he wondered if this was how drug addicts felt when they went through withdrawal.

Each second that ticked by felt like a lifetime and all he wanted was Dean. Every last little bit of his being felt scraped raw and he knew the only thing that would stop it was Dean. Castiel forced himself to stay in his bed, only left it to use the washroom and then fell back into it and hunkered down again. If he went downstairs there was no way he wouldn’t head right to school, find Dean and he _couldn’t_ do that.

Every now and then Gabriel checked in on him, brought him water that Castiel tried to sip at and food that he didn’t bother with. On and off, Castiel slept fitfully throughout the day and night, hoped like fuck tomorrow would be easier.

It wasn’t. Four days went by before Castiel finally didn’t feel like his body was gonna shake apart and the pull toward Dean lessened. Well, lessened enough to be manageable. He still missed him, wanted him, felt guilty as fuck but he didn’t feel like he’d die if he didn’t see him right that second. Part of him kept trying to figure out if that meant he really had feelings for Dean or if the addiction just hadn’t fully worn off yet.

After a quick shower, Castiel wandered downstairs in search of cereal. It was Saturday morning if his brain could be trusted and that was fifty-fifty with all the sleep he’d been getting. Gabriel walked in and stopped with a shocked look on his face that rapidly melted into a broad smile. A little weakly, Castiel returned it before he sat down with his cereal bowl at the table.

“Feeling better, kiddo?” Gabriel asked as he shuffled to the coffee maker and put it on.

“Kinda. I, uh, miss him, you know?” Castiel said with his eyes on his cereal.

Gabriel’s voice was a little husky when he replied, “Yeah, kid, I know.”

They ate in companionable silence until they ended up camped out on the couch watching cartoons. For a second, Castiel was five again, just hanging out with his big brother and it almost felt normal.

Any misguided notion Castiel had that things had gone back to normal for him were promptly shattered Monday morning. Dean wasn’t waiting at his car for him, not that Castiel had expected him to, Dean wouldn’t have known he was even coming back to school that day, but when Castiel caught sight of him in the hallway before homeroom, his stomach dropped and his heart beat wildly in his chest.

Dean didn’t even look at him when he walked past. That was probably the thing that hurt the most. The complete lack of acknowledgement from Dean made Castiel want to curl up in a little ball and disappear. And his day only got worse from there.

In Chemistry Mr. Walker was weirdly focused on him. Every time Castiel glanced up it seemed like he was watching him with a hostile look on his face that Castiel didn’t understand. He’d never had an issue with Mr. Walker before, so why he suddenly felt intimidated by him, Castiel didn’t know.

Over the next few days things with Mr. Walker deteriorated even more, between the way he stared at Castiel and bumped into his shoulder in the hall whenever he passed by, Castiel couldn’t wrap his mind around the aggression that was suddenly directed toward him. He thought maybe he was imagining it because why would Mr. Walker dislike him all of a sudden? So Castiel just decided to stay out of his way as much as he could.

At lunch one day, he was walking down an empty stairwell when a hand grabbed him by the arm and spun him roughly around. Castiel’s eyes widened when he saw it was Mr. Walker.

Eyes narrowed dangerously Mr. Walker leaned in and got up in Castiel’s face when he said, “I know what you are, Castiel. A sick freak like you shouldn’t be around other kids. I have no damn idea what you said to Mary Winchester that convinced her you weren’t a threat, but I’m not gonna fall for that shit.”

Shocked, Castiel stared numbly at him and had no idea what to say. Had Mrs. Winchester told Mr. Walker about him? Why? She’d said if he stayed away from Dean he’d be safe.

Suddenly Mr. Walker stumbled away from him and it took Castiel’s stunned brain a few seconds to process the fact that Dean had grabbed his shoulder and yanked him away, placed himself between Castiel and Mr. Walker with one hand reassuringly on Castiel’s shoulder.

“You can fuck right the hell off with your homophobic bullshit.” Dean said in a low, angry voice.

Uh, what? Castiel wondered, confused. But then, Dean didn’t know what he was and in the context of that, okay, made sense he’d come to that conclusion. Wide-eyed scared, Castiel looked back to Mr. Walker. He had no idea what he was gonna say.

A harsh chuckle was Mr. Walker’s first reaction, then, “I could give less of a shit who fucks who as long as everyone’s human. It’s kind of fucked up though, if you ask me, that you’re dating outside your _species,_ Dean.”

The color drained from Castiel’s face, and his eyes flew to Dean. His shoulders were tensed and his expression was confused, but he still didn’t back down.

“Oh, that’s rich.” Mr. Walker said with another ruthless laugh. “You didn’t even tell him, did you? Naw, ‘course you didn’t. Go on, _Castiel,_ tell him what kinda unseelie monster you are. Bet he’d love to know exactly what kind of Fae filth he’s been fucking. What you’ve been getting him _addicted_ to.”

Castiel’s heart was beating too fast and he couldn’t breathe, _no, no, no._ Dean’s grip on his shoulder tightened almost painfully as his eyes found Castiel’s. He had to tell him, no option left anymore.

“He’s-” Castiel’s voice was thick and he cleared his throat and tried again, “I- Dean, I’m Fae. I’m half-unseelie. It’s-”

Dean shook his head to cut Castiel off, “Listen, I don’t give a fuck _what_ you are. He can’t treat you like this. It’s fucked up, Cas.”

Mr. Walker’s glare intensified and he sneered, “Nice to know you take after your mom. She has a soft spot for the freak too.”

Dean’s eyes hardened when he looked back at Mr. Walker, and he angrily pointed his finger at him, “Stay the fuck away from Cas or I swear to God, you’ll regret it.”

He didn’t wait for Mr. Walker to respond, just slid his hand down Castiel’s arm and dragged him by the wrist down the stairs. Out of the school and didn’t stop until they got to the Impala. Dean quickly got the doors unlocked and then roughly said, “Get in, Cas.”

Numbly, Castiel complied, still scrambling to figure out what had happened, and if he needed to tell Gabriel about this. If he’d need to switch schools or if he should stick it out. Not much longer left until Christmas, he could probably make it at least until then so long as Mr. Walker listened to Dean. Maybe Castiel should talk to Mrs. Winchester, ask her for help… But would she? Help him if Mr. Walker was a threat?

“What the hell, Cas?” Dean said once they were both seated. “Either someone slipped me something, or Mr. Walker just accused you of being a _what?_ Fairy? What the fuck is an unseelie?”

Basically on autopilot Castiel rattled off an explanation while he looked at his lap, “Fae. I’m a Fae. Good Fae are called seelie. They’re part of the Summer Court, ruled by the Summer Queen. Mostly they either live in Fae populated cities or blend in with humans. Harmless. Bad… Dangerous Fae are called unseelie, ruled by the Winter King. And I- I thought I was seelie, but turns out I’m half-unseelie. There’s lots of different kinds of Fae, different power sets, classifications. Too much to explain right now.”

Castiel took a deep breath and waited for the question he knew was coming.

“Uh, okay.” Dean said, then, “What uh, what kind are you?”

“Half-Incubus.”

“What. The. Fuck. You’re some kinda sex fairy?” When Castiel’s eyes flew up to Dean’s face, Dean rolled his eyes, “Oh c’mon Cas, everyone’s heard stories about Incubuses”

“Incubi. Fae. And no, not really. Basically I feed on emotions related to sexual intimacy.” Castiel explained in a monotone.

“So all- all those times we- when we? You were _feeding_ on me?” Dean’s surprised words snapped Castiel out of his shock.

“Yes, essentially. It doesn’t- Dean, I’m only _half._ I’m not deadly, I would _never_ have hurt you.” Castiel said.

Dean fiddled with the hem of his sweater and looked down at the seat between them as he tried to wrap his mind around what Castiel was saying, “So that, um. That’s why it felt so good. That’s why I can’t stop thinking about it- you.”

“No. Yes. Maybe. Dean, it’s never felt like this with anyone else for me. And trust me, there’s been a lot of practice.” Castiel said dryly, just a trace of his humor intact despite the gravity of the situation.

“That’s just, um, I don’t um..”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Castiel admitted honestly, “It’s complicated and the only… the only _good_ thing since I got here was you, and then-”

“Then what?” Dean asked, tried to focus on Castiel’s words instead of the way his heartbeat was attempting to drown them out. God, he missed Castiel. And he was angry and scared, sure, but he _missed_ him.

“Then Gabe told me it’s possible for us to get addicted to one another. I thought we just fed on sex… There’s not a lot of information about people like us, and no one ever bothered to fill me in, so I didn’t _know._ I didn’t- I _don’t_ wanna screw up your life, Dean. And that’s all I seem to be doing.”

Dean’s eyes flashed up to his, hurt and sad and so green, “Wait, is that why you broke up with me? Fuck, Cas, why couldn’t you just _talk_ to me.”

Castiel’s shoulders slumped and his eyes dropped, “I told you in the beginning I don’t _do_ this. That I didn’t know how. Did you think I was lying? It’s fairly obvious that I’m awful at it, Dean.” Castiel let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know it would affect either of us like this.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with that? How the hell am I supposed to know if I like you for you or if it’s just some magical sex whammy?” Dean asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Mr. Walker was right. Your mom was right. We can’t be together. There’s nothing I can do to make sure your feelings for me aren’t tainted or mine for you. I’m the last person who’d know how to tell the difference.” Castiel said quietly.

“So that’s it? I don’t get a say but my _mom_ does? That’s fucked up, Cas.” Dean said bitterly, nothing about this made sense, nothing was _fair._

“You should ask your mom about it. She can tell you why you should stay away.” Castiel said, resigned as numbness started to sink in again.

“No. Fuck that. I don’t need another reason. You’re giving me plenty right now.” Dean said angrily and Castiel’s heart ached.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, got that. Get out of my car, Cas.” Dean said without looking at him.

Without another word, Castiel slipped out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, sorry, I love you, but the angst is gonna be sticking around for a few more chapters. <3 <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week's update is much longer, so yay! There's still a lot of ground to cover in this story, but I don't foresee that many chapters to get through it. Best guess is somewhere between 3-5? Ish. Don't worry though, I'll give you a bit of warning when we get close to the end. <3<3

All week Dean’d been miserable. He’d dragged himself to school and home, barely talked to his friends and didn’t try any harder with his family. By Sunday he _missed_ Castiel like a physical ache and he just kept thinking about whether he really missed him or if he was still coming down off of whatever addiction thing he’d had going on with him.

Only, Dean didn’t just miss the sex, he missed dumb things like Castiel sitting against his headboard. Laying down with his head in Castiel’s lap while they binge watched Netflix. Studying together and laughing and just being fucking happy with him. Drives in the Impala, hanging out at lunch… Dean just missed _him._

But Castiel had _fed_ on him. Seemed like the kinda thing you oughta ask someone to do _before_ you did it. Dean wasn’t pissed about it anymore, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with it either. Like, what did feeding on his energy even mean? Castiel had said it wouldn’t hurt him, and despite everything that’d happened, Dean still believed that was true. Believed he’d never been in danger. Didn’t mean he had to _like_ that Castiel hadn’t told him.

 _Yeah, but how was he s’posed to know if he could trust me. We barely knew each other. Yeah, well then he shoulda just not fucked me. Okay, but he_ needs _to feed, right? So how’s he s’posed to do that if he can’t trust anyone enough to tell ‘em but he needs to feed?_

Round and round, Dean’s thoughts circled like that. Holed up in his room again, Dean was face down on his bed breathing the stale air trapped in his pillow when a knock sounded on his door. He grunted but didn’t move to get up.

His door opened and shut and then Mom cleared her throat, “Dean, we should talk about this.”

“Nothin’ to talk about.” Dean mumbled into his pillow and Mom let out an exasperated sigh.

She crossed the room and sat beside him, rubbed her hand over his back like she used to when he was a kid and Dean was embarrassed that tears stung his eyes.

“You’re still upset over Castiel.” She said, and Dean’s chest throbbed with pain that felt all consuming and too big.

“Yeah.” He breathed, “He said… He told me…”

“What he is?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he tell you about the addiction thing?” She asked hesitantly and Dean nodded. “So, after I talked to him I looked into the lore.”

“The what?”

“Did some research. I know that you’re both confused about what’s going on, but there’ve been others like Castiel before. It’s definitely not common, but I did find instances of it. And of the addiction Castiel was talking about.” Mom paused and her hand stilled before she took a breath and pushed forward, “If it was an addiction, your withdrawal would’ve been pretty mild. Only should’ve lasted a few days. It’s been a lot longer than that and maybe… You should consider that the way the two of you feel isn’t magic induced.”

As soon as she finished speaking, Dean rolled onto his back and looked up at her.

“Wait, what?”

“Honestly, seelie/human relationships aren’t rare at all. And… seems to me, Castiel is more seelie than unseelie. I just… Dean, I want you to be happy and if- if Castiel makes you happy, then I’ll support that. You’re young and I’m not saying rush into things and make lifelong commitments here, but as far as high school boyfriends go, you could probably do worse.”

Mom smirked at him and Dean rolled his eyes, “Oh, yeah, lotta guys at school are worse. How d’you even know this stuff anyway? And how come you never told me?”

A frown tugged Mom’s lips down momentarily before she answered him, “My family used to hunt unseelie. When I was a kid, I was trained to do it too. Until I met your dad, and I just… I wanted a normal life and John was my chance. I took it and never looked back. I haven’t even heard of an unseelie attack in ages, they’re not common around here. I didn’t want that life for you and Sam. Unseelie are dangerous, hunters don’t tend to live long enough to retire.”

Dean chewed his lip but nodded when Mom finished. She kissed him on the top of his head as she stood up and smiled at him, “I’m thinking pizza for supper tonight. Sound good?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, and felt lighter than he had for a long time.

The rest of his night was pretty normal, and at bedtime he stared up at the ceiling; really thought about what his mom had said, and what he wanted. Problem was though, even if Dean decided he was okay with what Castiel was, even if he didn’t mind that Castiel fed on him… That didn’t mean that Castiel wanted _him._ Castiel had shut him down more than once and it’d hurt pretty damn badly each time. But maybe Castiel was trying to protect him. Uncertainty won out in the end and by the time he fell asleep, he knew that he needed to talk to Castiel.

So at lunch the next day Dean walked up to Castiel at his locker, “Hey, Cas.”

Blue eyes found his in a second, wide with surprise, “Dean.”

“Yeah, look, we need to talk. Can we go for a drive?” Dean asked.

He’d thought about taking Castiel to their clearing but it was pretty damn cold out and besides, it was filled up with too many memories. He wasn’t sure if he could even think clearly there.

“Um, sure.”

They made their way out to Dean’s car, and the whole time Dean tried to figure out what the hell he was actually going to say and it wasn’t until they were both buckled in and he’d pulled out of the parking lot that Dean finally decided. He was gonna come clean about what he was feeling, and _talk_ to him.

“I miss you.” Dean admitted quietly. “Not just the sex, but _you._ I’m still confused about my feelings, but I _know_ I miss you.”

He kept his eyes straight ahead on the road even though he desperately wanted to look at Castiel’s reaction to his words.

“I miss you too.” Castiel said softly, “But it doesn’t change anything. I can’t promise you’re not just under my influence.”

“I can.” Dean said, glanced at Castiel and then back at the road before he explained what his mother had found in her research.

“Even if that’s true… It’s still…” Castiel struggled with what to say; what was right versus what he wanted more than anything, “I won’t be sure. And I _need_ to be sure. I need _you_ to be sure.”

Dean licked his lips as he considered Castiel’s words, “Okay, so what if we just- we could try being friends?”

Honestly, Castiel didn’t know if he _could_ just be friends with Dean. He hadn’t fed since the last time they’d had sex, and he could already feel the pull of it in his gut.

“Like a trial period.” Dean continued, “We’ll spend more time together without the hormones and the feeding. See how we feel?”

Castiel chewed his bottom lip while he thought it over. He wanted Dean, _badly._ And that would be hard as fuck to overcome, but he didn’t wanna lose Dean either. Not completely. It would be selfish, so selfish to say yes to Dean, but Castiel wanted to be selfish about this. He _needed_ to.

“Yeah. Okay, yes. Let’s be friends.” Castiel answered, and Dean’s smile when he looked over at him for a second was bright and perfect.

He could go a bit longer without feeding. From experience, he knew that while a few weeks wasn’t exactly pleasant he could hold out. Especially with how frequently he and Dean had been having sex, he’d had a bit of a reserve, but he was already pushing at his limits and it was only going to get harder.

Maybe he could feed with someone else to take the edge off? Castiel’s stomach turned at the idea, and he scratched it off the list of possibilities immediately. There was absolutely no chance he’d be okay with that. He deserved to suffer a little anyway after the way he’d treated Dean. Maybe this was his penance.

Tuesday morning when Castiel pulled into his usual parking spot, Dean was waiting, leaned back against the Impala. That afternoon they went back to Dean’s to work on their Chemistry homework and neither of them talked about the fact that Mr. Walker had spent a considerable amount of class time glaring daggers at Castiel.

Castiel figured if he ignored it, at least he could pretend it wasn’t happening. Everything felt so tenuous like one wrong step could topple it all down. He didn’t feel safe at school, but if he told Gabriel he might decide they’d be better off moving, and he’d lose Dean. Or if he went to Mrs. Winchester she might take Mr. Walker’s side and he’d lose Dean.

And that’s what it all came down to, didn’t it? The possibility that he could lose Dean was so far beyond acceptable for Castiel that he couldn’t seek any sort of outside help. He just needed to hope Mr. Walker had actually listened when Dean’d threatened him.

Here, in Dean’s room though, everything was perfect. They were sprawled out side by side on their stomachs, Chemistry textbook opened in front of them and binders that they each scribbled the answers they were looking for into. Every once in awhile, the comfortable silence between them was broken when one of them cracked a joke and they’d both laugh until their cheeks hurt.

In the pit of Castiel’s stomach, hunger still burned on a low simmer, but it was easy to push down when it was time for him to head home. He smiled when Dean walked him to the door and left with a soft, “See you tomorrow.”

Wednesday was okay, though he spent a good deal of his time that day forcing himself to focus on things other than how damn good Dean looked and smelled. But they had fun after school when Dean invited him over for a cheesy campy horror movie marathon. They managed to fit three movies in before Mrs. Winchester popped her head in to tell them it was getting late on a school night.

Dean followed him to the door again and Castiel had to fight every impulse in his body that screamed at him to just kiss Dean instead of walking away. Fortunately he was able to silence his impulses and said goodnight instead.

Thursday and Friday were much harder. Castiel’s hunger intensified, and throughout the day he felt in turns weak and manic. He managed to get through well enough, and he didn’t think Dean noticed. Which was good. He was supposed to be Dean’s friend, wanted to prove that he _could_ be Dean’s friend. That it wasn’t just sex and hormones that made them interested in each other.

There was more to the warmth in his chest when he thought of Dean, more to the way he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, than just his need to feed. Castiel was sure of it by then.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean asked when they stopped at their lockers to grab their stuff after the last bell  on Friday.

“Hmm?” Castiel hummed as he pulled out his coat and shrugged it on.

Almost nervously, Dean asked, “Do you, uh, have plans tomorrow?”

“Not really, why?” Castiel answered, forced himself to smile at Dean and held back a yawn that threatened to break free.

“I was thinking, what if we just like, packed something for lunch and just, I dunno, drove?” Dean suggested as he shifted restlessly from foot to foot. “Like, a day trip or somethin’. We could just pick a direction and drive until we find something interesting to do. Does that sound crazy? That sounds crazy.”

Castiel’s grin was genuine when he replied, “No, not crazy: fun. I think that would be a great way to spend a Saturday.” 

Dean’s smile in return was wide and happy and Castiel’s chest warmed at it, “Good. Okay, so how ‘bout I pack lunch and pick you up around nine tomorrow?”

“Perfect.”

On Saturday morning Castiel rushed through his morning routine as fast as he could. The alarm he’d set for eight o’clock hadn’t gone off and he’d woken up at quarter to nine. He’d showered in record time, brushed his teeth and barely gotten his clothes pulled on when there was a knock at the door.

“Shit!” Castiel exclaimed in the upstairs bathroom at the same time as Gabriel called, “Got it!” from downstairs.

Castiel’s socked feet slipped on the hardwood as he rushed for the stairs and he just managed to catch himself with the railing. It didn’t slow him though and he jogged down the steps. Out of breath when he got to the door, Gabriel was standing there with a gigantic smile on his face as he sized Dean up. Castiel knew that smile meant bad things, terrible things. Terrible, embarrassing things.

“No time to talk, Gabe. Things to do.” Castiel said in a rush as he pulled on his winter boots and grabbed his coat. He hadn’t even had time to check his reflection in the mirror and he could tell from the amused expressions on both of their faces that his hair was likely near psychotic. “Be back later, bye!”

Without letting either of them get a word in edgewise, Castiel pushed past Dean and opened the door then dragged him out behind him.

“Be safe!” Gabriel called out in a smug voice, “Don’t forget our little talk, Cassie. No glove, no love.”

“So embarrassing.” Castiel mumbled under his breath as he kept his eyes on Dean’s car and flipped Gabriel the bird.

Dean’s laughter didn’t help. Even if it was charming. Damn it. Castiel climbed in the front seat of the car, and glanced over as Dean slid in his side. A fond smile spread Dean’s lips and then the tip of his tongue darted out and brushed over his thumb.

Castiel’s eyebrow rose in confusion as Dean leaned across the space between them and rubbed his slick thumb over the corner of his lips, “Toothpaste.”

Hunger surged in Castiel’s gut, clawed at him and begged him to suck Dean’s thumb into his mouth, swirl his tongue around it until Dean was hard and aching, fuck him right there in the driveway and sate himself. Castiel forced it back and smiled weakly at Dean instead, “Thanks. Didn’t have time to look in the mirror. Alarm didn’t go off.”

“Oh. D’you get breakfast yet, then?” Dean asked, concerned.

Castiel shook his head, “No time.”

“Good thing I grabbed a couple pop-tarts just in case,” Dean said with a wink.

Unfortunately, Castiel’s stomach revolted at the thought of sugary pastries, so when Dean reached for the glovebox he interrupted him, “Actually, I’m not really hungry right now.”

Dean’s green eyes flashed to Castiel’s face, and he watched intently as he asked, “You feeling okay?”

Unconvincingly, Castiel nodded, and buckled himself in, “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be hungry in a bit, just need to wake up all the way first.”

“Sure, okay.”

After that Castiel tried to focus on their conversation, but his mind kept drifting. Fantasies that starred Dean in every compromising position imaginable flitted through his head, and each one got pushed dutifully aside. He was worn out, and he looked it. Dean kept glancing over at him to check on him, but it wasn’t until he pulled over and parked at the very back of a deserted rest stop that he finally decided to confront Castiel.

“Cas, man, no offense, but you look like shit. You’re pale and flushed and you can’t pay attention for more than five minutes. You sick or somethin’?” Dean asked, worry in the tight set of his lips and jaw.

Gustily, Castiel sighed and decided to just own up to what was happening, “No, not sick. Hungry.”

Dean’s head tilted a little to the side like that just didn’t compute, “Dude, you coulda just grabbed a pop-tart. Or if you want something else I can get the sandwiches I made us.”

“No, not hungry for food, Dean.” Castiel’s eyes were on his own lap when he responded.

It took a minute for Dean to make sense of Castiel’s words and then a soft oh parted his lips. So fucking dumb, Dean should've realized. Wasn't like _he_ could just turn off his need for food, so how had he expected Castiel to do it?

“How, um, how long has it been since you fed?” Dean asked, though he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer.

“The last time we-”

“Jesus, Cas! How often do you need to?” Dean said, worried and confused and relieved all at once.

All of that chased by anger at himself for not thinking about it.

“I used to once a week, before you. Most I made it was two weeks.” Castiel admitted, without looking up.

Bile burned the back of Dean's throat, and his stomach knotted up, but he forced out, “You coulda… Why didn’t you just sleep with someone else if it was making you this sick?”

Adorably, Castiel’s cheeks flushed darker, and he glanced out his window as he spoke, “I didn’t like the idea of being with someone else. Even if we weren’t together. It just, I dunno. Felt wrong I guess. I care about you. Only want _you.”_

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was thick and warm as he spoke and Castiel’s eyes were instantly drawn back to his.

A tense silence filled the air, so thick Castiel felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment. And then Dean’s lips were on his hot and insistent and Castiel moaned into it. Dean’s tongue pressed slickly into his mouth and Castiel kissed him back just as fervently as Dean kissed him.

Against his lips Dean hotly said, “Get in the backseat, Cas.”

Wisps of purple and white-blue energy swirled and spiked around Dean, and Castiel felt himself absorb it, his head cleared a bit and he pulled back.

“Dean you don’t have to-”

“I _said_ , get in the backseat, Cas.” Dean said, voice full of command, and fuck that was hot.

Castiel didn’t waste a second, just unclipped his belt and climbed into the backseat. He’d barely settled himself with his back against the seat when Dean followed suit and straddled his hips. Breathlessly, Castiel sank his hands into Dean’s hair and pulled him into another desperate kiss.

Dean’s hands cupped Castiel’s face and his thumbs rubbed along Castiel’s jaw as he rolled his hips down onto him. God, it felt so fucking good, and Castiel was overwhelmed momentarily with the intensity of the feelings that passed between them.

That burned away his hunger until he was able to calm them both down, slow their kisses into something more sensual than feverish. Finally Castiel leaned his head back and looked into Dean’s lust-hazy eyes.

“We should stop.” He mumbled reluctantly, “It’s the middle of the day. We can’t fuck here.”

The corner of Dean’s lips twitched up in a smirk, “I mean, technically, we _could._ We just shouldn’t.”

“Ha-ha, smartass.” Castiel said wryly.

“Did you, um, get enough?” Dean curiously asked, face slightly pink. “If you need more we could find somewhere.”

“Nah, I’m good. Took the edge off. And you don’t have to- You’re not responsible for… Just, uh, don’t ever feel like you have to, okay?” Castiel said awkwardly.

Sunshine bright, Dean’s smile lit up his face a second before he ducked to press another lingering kiss to Castiel’s lips. Probably would’ve turned into something more too, if it hadn’t been for the untimely grumble Castiel’s stomach let out right then.

“Finally ready for food, I see.” Dean teased as he slipped off Castiel’s lap and popped the door. “Sandwiches and stuff are in the trunk. Gimme a minute.”

Castiel just smiled fondly at him, and took a minute to let his thoughts catch up to what’d happened. It didn’t take Dean long to get back with the food and two bites into the ham and cheese sandwich he’d handed him, Dean shifted in the seat beside him. Turned to face him more fully.

“So, the whole just friends thing…” He trailed off and looked at Castiel unsurely.

“Um, we could go back to that if you want.” Castiel said with what he hoped was neutrality in his voice.

“No, pretty clear that ain’t gonna work out for us. So if we’re not just friends, and we’re only gonna see each other… Does, that uh…” Dean paused and cleared his throat. “Boyfriends?”

The grin that spread across Castiel’s face at the cute way Dean blushed when he said it was totally involuntary, “Guess so. Never had one before, so don’t expect me to be the best one ever.”

“Shut up, douche.” Dean grumbled, but his smile took the heat completely out of his words.

They ate in companionable silence after that and before long they were back on the road. They never did find anywhere interesting to stop, but they spent the drive talking and hanging out, and between that and a few gas station breaks, they weren’t ever bored. Dean couldn’t get over how quickly things had changed for them. Just relieved that Castiel seemed to feel the same way about him.

It felt like the beginning of something big and Dean just really hoped that this time, things might actually work out for them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys!! I finally finished this fic!! I'm in the middle of editing the last few chapters, and I have no chill so odds are I'll post them today and tomorrow as I get them done, but this is it: the home stretch. There are two more full chapters after this one and then a short epilogue. Thanks for all your support guys, can't wait to hear what you think of the last few chapters. <3<3<3

After that day things were easier between them, the transition from friends to boyfriends was mostly seamless, and even though Castiel had been insisting that they take it slow, Dean was equally as insistent that Castiel feed enough that he wasn’t hungry.

So, while Castiel wasn’t as satisfied as he would be if they had sex, he was good enough to get by. It wasn’t that he didn’t wanna fuck Dean into the mattress or the backseat of Dean’s car every time they made out, it was just that he wanted them to build up to it. To make sure that Dean was sure.

A couple of weeks passed like that for them, they spent a lot of their free time at each other’s houses and now that things were out in the open with them everything went alot smoother. Castiel had already explained to Gabriel about the research Mary had done, and he’d accepted it pretty quickly that Dean was going to be around. He’d even told Castiel he was happy for him with a wistful sort of look in his eye that made Castiel’s chest ache with sympathy.

The only thing that put a damper on how perfect everything was were the hard, disgusted looks Mr. Walker gave them whenever they crossed paths or during class. Every day that he had Chemistry Castiel felt like he was sitting on a ticking time bomb, and he had no way to defuse it. Didn’t even know where to start.

Dean had told him he’d mentioned it to his mom, and she’d told him that she’d take care of it, but so far Mr. Walker hadn’t stopped. If anything, the looks he gave them had only gotten more intense. Castiel found himself wondering if maybe Mr. Walker thought something awful was going on. Maybe he thought Castiel had them all under his control or something. Which was patently stupid, but maybe Mr. Walker didn’t know that.

Last period that day was Castiel’s free period, so he’d decided to study for a bit in the library. Nearly thirty minutes later, he was feeling sort of nostalgic, so he texted Dean to meet him out in their clearing when he was out of class and then gathered up his stuff.

He stopped by his locker and shrugged into his coat, then made his way out of the school and into the chill-damp of the winter air. Sunset early in the winters and it was already hanging low in the sky. Above freezing, but cold and wet enough that Castiel’s breath fogged up in little puffs of condensation as he walked the well worn path into the woods.

He wasn’t there long when he heard the school bell ring. A small smile spread across his face, as he leaned against a tree and waited for Dean. Minutes ticked by, the rumble of school buses as they left faded into silence and anxiety built up in Castiel. Shouldn’t have taken Dean that long to get out there. Maybe he got held up by a teacher after class. Or he could’ve had some extracurricular thing that Castiel had forgotten about, but no, Dean would’ve texted him back to remind him if that was the case.

Another ten minutes went by and goosebumps prickled up along Castiel’s arms and the back of his neck but he shrugged it off as a reaction to the temperature and dug into his pocket for his phone.

A couple quick taps later, and he listened as Dean’s phone rang to voicemail. Castiel hung up without leaving a message. Worried, he bit his lip and turned to head back to the school. The feeling that something was wrong sat heavy in his stomach, and he’d just cleared the brush onto the path when he noticed someone approaching.

Warning bells rang in Castiel’s head as Mr. Walker stalked forward, his long grey coat flapped around him, and his arm was held stiffly against his side. Frightened, and not just a little bit, Castiel backed up the way he came, but he’d already been spotted. Castiel’s heart pounded wildly in his chest and he _knew_ that nothing good was about to happen. Part of him wanted to take off running, and the other part, the part that was unfortunately winning, kept him rooted in the middle of the clearing, eyes locked onto the place where any second now Mr. Walker was gonna walk through.

When Mr. Walker stepped through the brush, Castiel’s eyes went even wider. In his hands he clutched a shotgun, adrenaline surged in Castiel’s body and his instincts for self-preservation warred with one another. Stay and he was good as dead, run and he might be too, but he couldn’t have consciously made a choice right then if he wanted to.

“It’s time we end this Castiel.” Mr. Walker said conversationally. “This shotgun’s loaded with iron shot. Think you know what that means, don’tcha?”

Woodenly, Castiel nodded; iron was deadly to Fae. Poisonous. In an attempt to talk Mr. Walker out of what he was about to do Castiel blurted,  “You… Dean’s coming. He’ll be here soon. I texted him earlier.”

Mr. Walker smiled, but it was all teeth, no warmth. “Dean’s not gonna be going anywhere. Him and Mary are locked up tight until all this is over. You’re dangerous Castiel. I don’t have a sweet damn clue how you’re doin’ it, but you’ve got some kinda control over the Winchesters. The Mary _I know_ woulda taken you out soon as _she_ laid eyes on you. So, I’m gonna make sure you’re _good_ and _dead._ Save ‘em. However you’re doin’ it, it’ll wear off then.”

Tiny tremors wracked Castiel’s body as he shook his head,  “No. No I’m not- I-I-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Mr. Walker adjusted his grip on his shotgun and just as his finger tensed on the trigger, Castiel’s eyes squeezed shut. A deafening shot rang out. For a second Castiel held his breath and waited for pain to burst through his body, but nothing happened. He quickly opened his eyes.

On the ground, Mr. Walker was crumpled up a few feet from his gun, weirdly still. It took Castiel’s stunned mind way too long to realize Mr. Walker had been shot, not him. He blinked and spun around as his eyes frantically searched the foliage behind him for some sign of whoever had just saved his life.

A man stepped into the clearing, dark blonde hair messy, blue eyes crystalline and slightly manic. His clothes were perfectly normal, just jeans and a winter jacket, black boots, and Castiel’s brain just couldn’t wrap around what the hell was happening.

“Hello, Castiel.” He said warmly.

How… who… “Who are you?”

He smirked and stepped toward Castiel as he spoke, “I’m wounded Castiel, don’t you recognize your father? No. I suppose you _were_ rather young when your mother squirreled you away.”

Castiel just stared, uncomprehending, flickers of confusion and shock flashed across his face and a million and one questions piled up inside his head.

“Don’t look so shocked, you must’ve realized I existed. Birds and the bees ring a bell? You see, when a _mommy_ and _a daddy_ -”

“You’re like, _years_ too late for the sex talk.” Castiel interrupted dryly.

His face twisted into a mockery of a frown, “Hmm. When I pictured our reunion I expected a little more emotion from you. More anger perhaps or did those pathetic seelie train it out of you?”

“I don’t understand.”

“What’s confusing you?”

“Who _the_ hell _are_ you, why are you _here?”_ Castiel asked.

“I told you Castiel, I’m your father. Name’s Lucifer, knight of the unseelie court. Well, former knight. But you can call me Dad if it makes you feel better.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed, “Why former?”

“See, the boss? The Winter King, he hasn’t been around in ages. No boss, no orders, no knights.” Lucifer explained with a shrug of one shoulder.

“O.. Okay, but why are you here?” Castiel asked, still stuck on that one question. Nothing about Lucifer's demeanor suggested that it was for a happy, fuzzy family reunion.

Lucifer’s lips twisted into a smirk, “What? A dad can’t wanna reunite with his long-lost son without having an ulterior motive?”

Castiel gave him a flat look and Lucifer chuckled mirthlessly.

“Good boy, I wouldn’t buy that either. So how about I tell you a little story? Once upon a time I had a wife and two little bouncing brats. One day their mother up and decided to leave. Took the kids, and just disappeared. Took me ages to track down the fact that she’d given you two to Naomi because I couldn’t get anywhere near the seelie court. Which is where the records of your adoption were. You don’t even wanna know what I had to do to get _those.”_ Lucifer said theatrically.

Castiel’s eyebrows raised, “What d’you mean my _mother_ gave _me_ to Naomi? She _is_ my mother.”

A dark laugh burst out of Lucifer, “You really bought that, huh? Hook line and sinker? Well, you _were_ young, but seriously? Naomi Novak’s nothing more than a seelie scientist.” Lucifer’s face twisted with anger, “She experimented on you and your brother like lab rats. The same way seelie have been treating unseelie for generations. She wanted to see if unseelie could be _cured._ Or half-unseelie anyway. From what I hear, she failed spectacularly.”

Right about then was when Castiel’s brain cut out, his pulse buzzed in his ears, and he felt dizzy. Naomi wasn’t his mom. He didn’t… He couldn’t… Hurt and confusion and betrayal rushed through him in painful, staticky flares.

“Who was she then? My mom.” Castiel frowned when the words left his mouth without him thinking them.

Maliciously, Lucifer grinned, “Ah, Hannah. She was a seelie royal. An impossibly naive little thing, so completely starved for affection that corrupting her took nothing more than charming words and false smiles. She was so _easy_ to control too.”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed at the next bit, “At least until she found out about my plans for you. And then the little brat grew a backbone. Gave you to the seelie and they hid you away. Found Hannah though.” He bared his teeth in a smile that was pure evil, sent a shiver of fear down Castiel’s spine. “Killed her and brought her back over and over and over again and then once more. Still wouldn’t give me your location. Gotta admit she had spunk I didn’t see coming.”

An ache hollowed out Castiel’s chest and his stomach clenched unpleasantly. Everything was too much, he had a mom who loved him and she was gone. He’d never meet her and she’d died being tortured for him. Tears pricked at the corners of Castiel’s eyes and he didn’t understand how you could miss someone you’d never really known but he _did._ Fiercely and with a strength that shocked him, he wished he could apologize to her. He wasn’t worth her death.

“What did you have planned?” Castiel heard himself ask.

“Simple really.” Lucifer said, “Unseelie have been hunted and punished. The Winter King’s gone and the Summer Queen’s responsible for all of it. She _trained_ the hunters who slaughter our brothers and sisters. Who think _they’re_ better than us. _They’re nothing._ I’m going to destroy her, and you, well, you’re my key.”

Castiel’s eyebrows rose, Lucifer was fucking insane, “How? Even if I wanted to help you, which _newsflash,_ I _don’t._ What the hell could _I_ do?”

A rustle in the brush interrupted them and equal parts relief and concern flooded through Castiel when Gabriel walked into the clearing, put himself in between Castiel and Lucifer.

“Well, isn’t this a _nice_ surprise.” Lucifer said lightly. “A whole _family_ reunion.”

“Hey Dad.” Gabriel said, eyes narrowed.

“Gabriel.” Lucifer greeted. “What brings you here?”

Gabriel’s eyes flicked back to Castiel, “Dean called and said Castiel was in trouble. Looks like you took care of that.”

Lucifer shrugged and smiled, “Easily.” He turned his attention to Castiel, “Now where were we? Right! How I’ll train you to kill the Summer Queen.”

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in Castiel’s throat, he’d never killed. He would _never_ kill.

“Why do you even need me?” Castiel asked once he’d sobered. “Why can’t you do it yourself?”

Lucifer’s face grew taut with irritation, “I told you I can’t get near the Summer Court. It’s warded against unseelie.”

Internally Castiel was panicked, he didn’t have a clue what to do. Gabriel stepped closer to Castiel, tried to shield him from Lucifer’s view with his body and a swell of emotion welled up in Castiel’s chest for his brother.

“Well, we’re half-unseelie, so the warding would work on us too.” Gabriel reasoned.

“Mmm. That’s true. For you, Gabriel. Not for _him_ though. _He_ came out just _right.”_

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Castiel asked, concerned.

Lucifer shifted a few steps until he could look at Castiel while he spoke, “Means I took one look at Gabriel when he was born and knew that mewling little infant took too much after me. There was no way he’d pass the warding at court. Should’ve snapped his tiny little neck right then but I didn’t think Hannah would’ve been quite so cooperative after that.” Gabriel’s shoulders tensed and Castiel felt sick. “Took me a few years, a _lot_ of research, but I got it perfect with you, Castiel. You got your Daddy’s charms and none of the _bite_ that sets off the warding. It’s why I need you. Why you’ll come with me.”

Castiel shook his head in denial, “No.”

A wide grin flashed across Lucifer’s face, “Oh, calm down Castiel, I’m not the monster in some cheesey movie. I’m not going to force you. I’ll never trick you, or lie to you, but you _will_ come with me.”

“And why the _hell_ would he do that?” Gabriel asked caustically.

“Because he’s going to think about the way the seelie have slaughtered unseelie who’ve done nothing more than _feed._ How seelie have trained humans who are _nothing_ , they’re _cattle,_ to hunt _us._ Think about how they treated _him._ Just threw you aside when they were done, didn’t they? And he’s-” Lucifer refocused on Castiel, “you’re going to realize I’m _right._ This cause is _just._ And you’ll be the weapon that brings them to their knees.”

Castiel bit his lip and looked away, “And if I say no?”

Lucifer’s lips twisted into a smirk as his eyes hardened, “You won’t. Not once you’ve thought about it. Unseelie aren’t monsters, Castiel. Contrary to what you’ve been taught. We’re following our natural instincts. Do we _really_ deserve to be murdered for that?”

Anger finally broke through Castiel’s shock and he glared at Lucifer, “You say that like unseelie don’t have a choice! Most unseelie _can_ control themselves enough not to kill. They _chose_ to.”

Lucifer’s smile in response was razor sharp, “You wouldn’t say that if you were fully unseelie. There’s nothing sweeter, more perfect,” Lucifer’s eyes closed and he bit his lip like just remembering it was the most amazing thing, “Than that last wave of energy as it leaves a human body.”

Disgust and pity burned in Castiel’s stomach, “And you wouldn’t say that if you could taste the kind of love _I_ have. They’re not cattle. They’re smart, clever, imaginative, caring _people._ Unseelie who _kill_ them _are_ monsters. I _won’t_ help you.”

Rage flashed across Lucifer’s face, lightning quick and just as terrifying. Castiel took an involuntary step back, then stood his ground.

“You’re fucking a human and you think you’re in _love_ with it.” Lucifer said, each angry word dripped with disbelief and Castiel flinched. It wasn’t a question and though the words were quiet they were laced with violence.

Castiel didn’t respond.

“Answer me, Castiel.”

Eyes narrowed, Castiel squared his shoulders.

“Well, I guess I have my answer, don’t I? Honestly, I can’t say I foresaw this. Puts a nasty little crimp in my plans, doesn’t it? Having you all cozy with a filthy piece of human trash.” Lucifer said much too calmly.

Almost instantly Lucifer was in front of him, and Gabriel who’d stepped between them, had been tossed away like he was an afterthought. Gabriel landed hard on the ground several feet from them just as Lucifer’s hand closed over Castiel’s arm and all he had time to think was _no._

Worry for his brother paralyzed him and vertigo threatened to make him spill his lunch all over his shoes. He blinked but no, he wasn’t imagining it. They now stood in a large dingy room. Looked like some kinda waiting room. Castiel’s heart raced and he tried to pull out of Lucifer’s grip but he was strong. So much stronger than Castiel. God, Castiel had barely recovered from having gone so long without feeding. He couldn’t fight off Lucifer.

Castiel’s voice was too high, terror and grief choked him as he spoke, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You said you wouldn’t force me!”

Lucifer sneered at him as he dragged him down a hall, “Yes, well, I wasn’t expecting your perverse little love story, Castiel. I had to _improvise.”_

All Castiel could think about was Gabriel as he crumpled to the ground, was he okay? Was he alive? Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and he tried so hard to hold them back, “I’m not gonna be part of this.”

“Oh, I think you’ll change your mind. Once you’ve had that last sweet taste of human life before it flickers out.”

Castiel shook his head vehemently, “Except I’m _not_ unseelie. I’m _not_ deadly.”

Slowly, ruthlessly, Lucifer grinned, “You will be. If you’re hungry enough, starved long enough, you won’t be able to help it. Your body’ll suck every _last drop_ of that energy out until it’s gone.”

“No.” Castiel said, much less sure of himself than he wanted to be. “I’m not a monster.”

Lucifer’s smile widened as he dragged Castiel into a small room with a metal framed twin size bed. Pushed him onto it and strapped his arms and legs down with heavy cuffs that were attached to the frame.

“Oh, but aren’t you Castiel? We’re _all_ monsters here.”

Castiel turned his head and stared at the wall. The echo of Lucifer’s chuckle as he walked away made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Won’t take long, will it?” Lucifer said as he continued to leave. “Not with how hungry you already are.”

And then Castiel was left alone with nothing but his own terrified thoughts for company. Gabriel had to be okay. He couldn’t… Tears finally rolled over his cheeks and Castiel sucked in panicked breaths as silent sobs wracked his body.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't wanna leave you all on a cliffhanger. XD So here's the next chapter. Last two will likely go up tomorrow. <3<3

It took days. Excruciating, painful, long days and every favor Gabriel and Mom had combined called in for them to track down the abandoned sanatorium that Lucifer had taken Castiel to. Careful planning and Dean was practically crawling out of his skin with worry over Castiel.

Finally, Sam’d been sent to a friend’s house and Mom almost hadn’t let Dean come with them, but Dean was damn stubborn, a trait he got from his father, and Mom’d given in when he’d threatened to just follow them anyway. Not like she could stop him if she wasn’t there to, well, stop him.

The sun had barely risen when they’d gotten there and a creepy silence pervaded the air. All Dean wanted to do was get a damn move on already. Mom said they needed to scope it out first. What the hell ever, Castiel was in there, could be hurt and Dean just didn’t have the patience to wait. Turned out Gabriel didn’t either.

So sooner than Mom might’ve liked the three of them crept up to the front door, and like they were trying to make an entrance, they stormed in. Mom and Dean both had an iron sword in their hand, and Gabriel was holding a weird looking blade he hadn’t bothered to explain. Dean didn’t really give a crap long as it worked.

Just like they’d figured Lucifer heard the commotion and came to find them, manic grin on his face. Mom and Gabe took point, and it was a struggle, but two on one? Dean didn’t think Lucifer had much of a chance. Wasn’t long before Dean got his opening and dashed past him. The smirk on Lucifer’s face when he didn’t even try to stop him was a little disconcerting, but Dean had one goal right then: _find Castiel._

Lots of doors, too many _goddamn_ doors. One after another, Dean opened them, and of fucking course it was the one at the end of the second hall he tried. Castiel was laid out on a bed, hands and legs cuffed to it and for one horrific moment Dean didn’t think he was breathing. The sword that Dean still had clutched in one hand clattered to the ground.

Castiel’s skin was ashen and slick with sweat. Hair stuck damply to his forehead and his chest rose just slightly with a ragged, barely there breath. Dean’s heart felt like it started up again and he was suddenly in motion. His hands cupped Castiel’s cheeks.

“Cas? Cas, wake up, please wake up, please?” Dean begged.

Hazy and unfocused, Castiel’s eyes blinked open. _God,_ he was alive and Dean’s heart pounded so damn loud in his ears. Something tight and hot choked him, and tears pooled wet in Dean’s eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong with Castiel. Why he looked so-

 _Starved._ He’d been starved, of fucking course he had. Dean felt like an idiot. Castiel could be minutes from dying for all Dean knew. He definitely looked like he was and Dean’s chest clenched painfully.

Without thinking it through Dean pressed his lips to Castiel’s and at first Dean couldn’t tell if it was working. Castiel was motionless, didn’t kiss back and Dean’s heart felt like it was breaking because what did that _mean?_ What if he was too late? Maybe Castiel didn’t even know he was there. Dean just pressed more firmly, focused everything he had on how much he cared for Castiel, how much he _loved_ him. God, he _fucking_ loved him and he couldn’t do this. _Don’t do this Cas._

And then Castiel kissed back and Dean’s heart beat double time behind his ribs. Castiel’s tongue brushed over his lips and Dean grinned.

“That’s it, c’mon, babe.” Dean murmured between kisses, “Just like that, Cas. You can do this.”

Each pass of Dean’s lips over Castiel’s became more desperate until lips and teeth and tongues as they worked hotly together were all Dean knew. Slowly, Castiel’s awareness returned to him by degrees and he knew he had to stop, knew he needed to _stop._ He was feeding on Dean, and he’d already taken so much, he _had to stop._ God, he didn’t know if he _could_ stop. He had to.

“Dean… You can’t… you…” Castiel tried to get out through frantic kisses that seared through him, that stole his breath, but pulsing purple bursts of energy seeped into him, filled his mouth and clouded his mind, “I can’t… Dean, I can’t… stop. You have to… _stop.”_

Castiel’s voice broke on a groan as Dean crawled onto the bed, ground their hips together in a delicious drag of friction that flared white-hot around them.

“S’okay, Cas. You need to feed.” Dean said hot against his lips.

“Dean- you don’t understand. I could kill you. I can’t- ah, I can’t stop.” Castiel pleaded, but Dean didn’t move back and he didn’t stop the slow roll of his hips or the deep kisses that were burning Castiel up from the inside out.

A little bit of Dean wanted to laugh, but it was tiny and buried deep, there was nothing that could stop him from arching into Castiel, from trying to get as close as he possibly could to him. All Dean wanted, the _only_ thing Dean wanted was Castiel, and it felt way too good to put an end to it now.

“Cas, I-I _trust_ you. I believe in the good in you. You’re _not_ gonna hurt me.” Dean whispered in heated breaths while pleasure slammed through his body. So perfect, so _good._

Desperately, Castiel tried to shake his head, no, he wasn’t good. Wasn’t. He tried to pull away but he was _so_ hungry and he couldn’t. He _needed_ to stop. Fucking _had to._ Dean’s light, his _soul,_ was dimming and not just the energy it gave off.

Castiel choked on a sob, but he couldn’t help it, he was still kissing him, still sucking more energy than he should. Dean quirked a half-smile against Castiel’s lips as Castiel gasped in a breath. God, Castiel tried, tried so damn hard to focus his mind through the endless pleasure that swirled between them, glowed.

“Love you, Cas.” Dean sighed on an exhale.

 _STOP._ Castiel’s heart skipped a beat and a blinding flash of dazzling white light exploded between them, had to shut his eyes against it and then everything slammed into darkness.

The first thing Dean noticed when he woke up was that his tongue felt like it’d been scalded by hot chocolate and his mouth tasted like death warmed over. He grimaced.

“Dean! Honey are you awake?”

Mom’s voice sounded muffled, but the concern in it made him blink his eyes open. Mom’s face swam into focus and she had one one of those sad smiles that mom’s get when their kids are sick. Soft and warm like they wished they could make it better. His eyes flicked around the room, and he realized he was in a hospital. Panic shot through Dean.

“Cas?” He asked thickly.

Mom smiled wider for a second and handed him a glass of water, “He’s fine for now.” Her smile faded. “In a pretty bad place emotionally, though. Right after you passed out Gabriel and I got to you. Cas… he… Dean, he begged me to turn him over to other hunters if I wouldn’t kill him myself.”

“Mom!” Dean exclaimed, tried to sit up, panicked.

Didn’t get far though, because Mom pushed him back down onto his pillow, “Oh, calm down. Of course I’m not going to. Jeez. Even starving and near delirious he didn’t hurt you. Not permanently, anyway. You might have a headache for a while.”

Dean blinked, his head _did_ hurt, but like, mildly, more annoying than really painful, “Where is he?”

“Currently under lockdown in the next room. Gabriel’s guarding him so he doesn’t do something stupid.”

Relieved, Dean nodded, “Lucifer?”

“Dead. Between Gabriel and I we put up a hell of a fight. Helped that he was overconfident. Thought there was no way we could take him. Was pretty easy to work that to our advantage.” Mom said.

“I need to see Cas.” Dean finally said after he’d taken a moment to let it sink in that everyone was safe and unharmed.

He sat up, and this time Mom didn’t push him back down. Despite the dizziness that threatened to knock him back onto his pillow he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Which was right about when he noticed the IV in his arm that was attached to a bag of saline. He rolled his eyes, but used the pole the bag hung from to steady himself as he got to his feet.

“Go easy.” Mom warned, but she let him go on his own. “It’s the one on the left.”

When Dean walked in the next door, Castiel was lying listlessly on his back, one arm flopped over his eyes. Seated in the chair next to Castiel’s bed, Gabriel looked up from the magazine in his lap and winked at him, mouthed _drama queen_ and nodded at Castiel, who was still unaware of his presence. Dean’s lips twitched into a smirk and Gabriel swiftly stood up, gave Dean a two-finger salute and headed out of the room.

At the sound of Gabriel’s retreating footsteps Castiel peaked out from under his arm and his eyes widened as they met Dean’s. Filled with a mixture of intense longing and deep regret, he sat up instantly.

“Dean,” Castiel’s eyes dropped to his lap, “I’m so sorry.”

Exasperated, Dean rolled his eyes again, crossed the room and dragged the pole with him up beside Castiel’s bed. Then Dean crawled over him until he straddled Castiel’s lap, kissed him- forgiveness and absolution like a prayer from his lips to Castiel’s.

“I’m not. I’m fine, Cas. You’re fine.” Dean leaned back to smile softly down at him, but Castiel’s eyes were still downcast.

“I could’ve killed you.” He said quietly.

“But you didn’t.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m dangerous.” Castiel’s chest hurt as he  finally chanced a glance up at Dean. “I shouldn’t be anywhere near you.”

“Don’t do this, Cas.” Dean said passionately. “Don’t let him take this. _I love you._ And it’s not compulsion, it’s not magic, it’s just… It’s you. Always been just _you._ I love you, because I _love_ you. That’s it. You’re _not_ dangerous and I’m _not_ scared of you. I _need_ you, Cas. Just- just _stay_ with me.”

Tears stung behind Castiel’s eyes because he wanted so badly to have this, to have _Dean._

“I’m not- Dean, I’m not _good_ enough for you. You have your whole life figured out and I’m just a freak with no fucking clue what the hell I’m gonna do with mine. And on top of that, I could still _hurt you.”_  

Dean shook his head, “No, you _won’t._ And who cares if you haven’t figured everything out yet. Jesus, Cas, almost no one has. You _will_. And whatever it is, whatever you decide to do- You’ll be awesome at it. I _know_ you will.”

Something that felt a lot like hope slowly filled Castiel’s chest, pushed it’s way through the doubts that kept surfacing, and incredulously Castiel asked, “How can you believe in me so much?”

“Gee, I dunno, Cas. Might come as a shock, but I love you, dumbass.” Dean answered with a smirk.

Want and shouldn’t and a thousand other thoughts and feelings all fought for dominance, “Dean…”

With a loud sigh, Dean resolved to solve this, “Let me make this real easy for you. Do you love me? Yes or no?”

Castiel’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling, “Yes, but-”

“No but, Cas. Just _be_ with me, then.” Dean’s eyes were locked on Castiel’s and everything in them begged Castiel to listen. His resolve was already cracking in the face of that steady warmth when Dean said, “We can figure the rest out later. _Just stay.”_

“Okay,” Castiel breathed.

“Okay?” Dean asked, so damn hopeful it almost hurt.

“Yeah, Dean. Okay.”

After that, Castiel let himself get swept up in kissing Dean. Soft, sweet kisses that for once weren’t rushed and desperate. They relaxed into one another until slowly little kisses melted together before they slowed to a stop when Dean sagged against Castiel and buried his face in his neck. Whispered, “I love you.” into his skin and Castiel echoed it back into his hair.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys! I love you. <3 All that's left is the short epilogue. *sobs*

Almost twenty four hours in the hospital, and the whole time Dean complained that he didn’t need to be there. But apparently “losing consciousness at school and failing to regain it for a couple hours” required a lot of testing and observing, and by the time Dean’d been poked and prodded and tested nine ways to Sunday, they’d failed to find anything out of the ordinary.

After he was released, they went home and Dean texted Castiel almost as soon as he got in his room. Let him know he was home, and Castiel could drop by whenever to visit, then went and took a shower. A few hours later, Castiel showed up with a bag of junk food and a dorky get well soon card that Dean cracked up over.

He fell asleep that night wrapped up in Castiel’s arms and he slept better than he had since the day Castiel had been taken. Hadn’t even realized how bone-deep exhausted he was until he was warm and safe with Castiel in his bed. Sleep dragged him under quickly, and the steady beat of Castiel’s heart beneath his ear kept away the bad dreams he’d been dealing with the last few days.

Late the next morning Dean woke up gradually. So comfortable and warm that he hated to have to open his eyes. Behind him, Castiel was a warm weight against his back, one arm slung over his waist and he could feel Castiel’s breath warm against the back of his neck. In nothing but t-shirts and boxer-briefs, Dean _felt_ every inch of Castiel that was pressed against him, including the hard-on that rested against his lower back.

A sharp exhale hissed between Dean’s teeth as heat curled in his gut, his own dick was hard and strained the black fabric it was trapped in. Dean bit his bottom lip to hold in a groan when Castiel shifted closer and breathed, “Morning,” in his ear.

“Mmm.” Dean hummed, still too lazy for words just yet, but awake enough to fully enjoy it when Castiel’s hand slipped slowly down the flat surface of his stomach until his palm grazed Dean’s cock and his fingers brushed over his balls.

Quietly, Dean groaned and rocked his hips into the solid pressure of Castiel’s hand. Friction that felt like relief and not enough and so _fucking good._ Castiel’s lips closed over the back of Dean’s neck and he sucked a dark, wet mark into the skin there. Dean’s breathing sped up, God, he wanted- wanted-

“Fuck me.” Dean whispered urgently, “Cas, fuck me, I want you to-”

So fast that his head spun a little, Castiel peeled off Dean’s t-shirt and underwear, rapidly followed it up with his own until they were naked and face to face.

“God, you’re hot.” Castiel murmured as he kissed and licked his way down Dean’s chest. Paused in his descent to suck and tongue each of Dean’s nipples into hardened peaks before he continued on his way down.

Dean’s hands were everywhere, they ran over Castiel’s shoulders, and up into his hair, back down again only to repeat the motion as he arched into Castiel’s mouth. Fuck, he was good with his mouth.

Purple light bathed the room, Dean’s skin practically glowed with it when Castiel’s finger slickly circled his hole. Dean jumped a little at the sensation of wetness because he knew for a fucking fact, there was nowhere Castiel could’ve hidden lube.

“Did you just-”

“Perk.” Castiel replied as he pushed a finger inside of Dean and watched Dean’s face as he did it. Fuck, he was gorgeous, cheeks flushed and lips bitten red, teeth dug into his bottom lip to hold back moans Castiel could feel just beneath the surface of Dean’s skin. Kept his eyes on Dean as he slid another finger in just as he wrapped his lips around the head of Dean’s cock.

The little gasp Dean let out was so hot. So fucking hot. And he was so tight around Castiel’s fingers. God, he wanted his dick in there. Right fucking then, but he wanted to take his time too. Take Dean apart bit by bit and put him back together again. So he sucked Dean’s cock and fingered him until he panted and shook with it, until he was stretched on three fingers and every brush of Castiel’s fingertips over his prostate made him buck up into the heat of his mouth.

“Cas,” Dean whispered in a broken, rough voice. “Please. God, fuck me. I-I.. _Cas,_ need _you.”_

Sweet goddamn relief when Castiel finally pressed one last kiss to the tip of Dean’s cock, slowly withdrew his fingers and crawled up Dean’s body. Pulled Dean’s legs up to lock around his waist. They fit around him like he belonged there. Like he was _made_ to be _there._

Blunt pressure against Dean’s slippery hole, and Castiel held there for a second, just looked down into the hazy green of Dean’s eyes and let himself feel the intimacy that surged between them. Hot and perfect and _so right._

“Please…” Dean breathed, so close to getting what he wanted.

Dean’s eyes shimmered with emotion and Castiel just nodded. For once he didn’t have words, didn’t have something hot and dirty on the tip of his tongue. Too overwhelmed with the way Dean looked at him like he was everything he wanted. So he pushed forward, slid inside Dean with a long, drawn out thrust until his hips were flush with Dean’s ass.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Castiel finally said, voice strained with the effort of remaining still while Dean was hot and pliant around him.

Dean just breathed through the uncomfortable feeling that accompanied not having done this in a while. Forced himself to relax.

“You’re not… Exactly small.” Dean panted.

“Love it when you talk dirty.” Castiel teased and Dean laughed.

“Move, fucker. I wanna feel you-” Dean’s voice broke off into breathlessness when Castiel complied.

Pulled back until the head of his cock tugged Dean’s rim and then pushed back in, slow and steady and God, _good._ Did it again and again, gradually picked up speed until they were both breathing harshly. Dean’s fingernails scraped down Castiel’s back, and the sting of it felt way too sexy. Heat gathered like electric currents of pleasure in Castiel’s gut, so fucking close. He shifted his weight onto one forearm and reached his other hand between them. Roughly jacked Dean’s dick in a desperate attempt to get him off first.

“Cas.” Dean quietly moaned, fuck he was close. Castiel’s hand felt so goddamn good, and his cock was hitting just the right spot inside him. Everything was slick with sweat and so perfect.

One of Dean’s hands pulled Castiel forward by the back of his neck, crushed their lips together in a messy kiss that barely qualified as one, really just tongues and heated breaths and he was so, so, so close.

“Please, please, Cas, please.” Dean’s words were barely more than puffs of air against his lips, but _fuck,_ Castiel _felt_ them. Twisted his wrist on the upstroke and Dean arched against him, threw his head back with a stuttered gasp and came so hot. Streaks of white landed on Dean’s belly and chest, dripped over Castiel’s fingers.

“Fuck, _fuck,”_ Castiel grunted, buried his face in Dean’s neck as he sped up his thrusts.

“Wanna feel you come inside me.” Dean breathed, and Castiel soared right the fuck over the edge. His hips twitched and he pushed as far into Dean as he could, came in hard, hot spurts.

Warmth, fuzzy and soft stole over Castiel as the pleasure of his orgasm faded into afterglow and he became aware of the way Dean’s hands were smoothing over his back. Gentle and soothing, like Castiel was something precious. He lifted his head and kissed Dean then, slow and full of love as his heart rate slowed and their bodies cooled.

After a bit, Castiel finally pulled slowly out and flopped onto his back beside Dean while they caught their breath.

“So…” Dean said with a slightly embarrassed smile, “Probably should’ve said this before, but uh, I’m clean, you?”

Castiel laughed warmly, and Dean glared at him, “Another perk, I guess. I can’t catch anything. So we’re good.”

“See.” Dean said with an I told you so smile, “There are upsides. You somehow have an endless supply of lube that I don’t wanna consider too closely, and no STD’s. And the fucking phenomenal sex skills. Seriously, A plus, man.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean said with a grin, “So, breakfast and then round two?”

One of Castiel’s eyebrow’s raised, “You don’t think your mom’ll think it’s weird if we come down for breakfast and then creep right back up to your room?”

Dean shrugged a shoulder, “I mean, obviously we’re gonna wipe off the jizz first.”

“Obviously.”

“Plus she’s not home. School day. _I_ have a doctor’s note and another day off. You, however are just skipping you dirty skipper.”

“Shit.”


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys. <3 The end. I warned you it was short. <3 I've gotten a few questions on if I plan to do timestamps for this verse, and the answer is no. BUT, I do have vague plans for a college sequel! If you guys want it that is. So, if you'd like to see what these adorable fuckers are up to at college, lemme know in the comments. ;)

It didn’t take long for things to get back to normal, or really for a new normal to evolve. Dean and Castiel went back to school and pretended to be just as shocked as everyone else by Mr. Walker’s sudden disappearance. Castiel learned that Mrs. Winchester and Gabriel had taken care of the body and he didn’t ask too many questions.

Honestly, he tried not to think too much about it. Every once in a while guilt still bubbled to the surface though, when he remembered that Mr. Walker was just trying to protect people. Even if they hadn't needed protecting, Castiel wasn't really sure he'd deserved to die for it.

They got caught up in the rhythm of school and studying. And soon it was Christmas break. Filled with laughter, and food, it'd been the best of Castiel's life. Not even the stress of trying to find the perfect gift for Dean had put a damper on Castiel's holiday and before he knew it, New Year's Eve had blown past. They'd spent the night at Charlie's house, another massive party, but this time there was nothing dramatic, just a perfect kiss at midnight followed up with rushed blowjobs in the upstairs bathroom.

School started up again, winter melted into spring and Castiel still worried he wasn't good enough for Dean, still struggled with answering big questions like what they'd do after graduation, what  _he'd_ do, but one thing he never really questioned was how much he wanted Dean to be a part of whatever he did. He just really couldn't picture a future without him anymore and didn't really want to. 

Eventually Charlie and Dorothy found out about Castiel and Castiel swore weeks later he still felt a bruise on his shoulder where Charlie’d punched him for not telling her sooner. And even though Castiel worried they’d freak out, neither of them changed toward him at all. When he’d confessed his relief to Charlie, she’d looked at him like he was dumb and told him he was still the same person. And that sorta stuck with him.

It took a while, but bit by bit Castiel slowly realized his worth; Helped that Dean was there to remind him frequently and fervently. Not just in bed, either. That wasn't to say that he didn't suffer from insecurity now and then, because he did, for sure, but he was working on it. Dean made him want to be better than he was. Better than he thought he _could_ be.

By the time college application deadlines were closing, Dean had already applied to his top four choices and Castiel applied to each of them as well, knew he’d follow wherever Dean went. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to do with his life…

“But that’s what first year is for, Cas.” Dean assured him, and as he looked at Dean, flushed with happiness, love and admiration etched in every line of his face, yeah, Castiel decided, he could deal with that.


End file.
